


Moving On

by aimless38



Series: Moving On [1]
Category: Weiß Side B (Manga)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 02:24:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4287141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aimless38/pseuds/aimless38
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ken is confused about his feelings after getting mixed signals from Aya and Chloe</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the Weiss Side B Timeline During the Manga. This work will not contain the character Kurumi. I found her addition not essential to the plot.

He caught me staring at him again. It seems I can’t help myself these days.

He’s my only link to a past that was filled with violence and death. There were also good memories of love and companionship but they are getting harder and harder to recall. It seems everyone has moved on but me. Aya smiles slightly nodding to the flower arrangement I’ve been neglecting. Somehow I cannot bring myself to smile back. It feels so artificial. I also can’t help the stab of jealousy that coils in my gut when Chloe walks in. He stands behind Aya and wraps his arms around him. Aya looks over his shoulder and the blond whispers in his ear. They both laugh and I want to puke. 

I watch Chloe lean closer. The shop is empty except for the three of us and I hate the fact that I’m being treated to this peep show. I’ve never known Aya to be so free with his emotions. It’s almost as if being here is good for him. Away from Japan and all the memories. I wonder if he even thinks about Yohji any more. I wonder if he even cares.

Omi… excuse me, Mamoru told us that the blond was now happily married and expecting his first child. Yohji a dad… that’s a real kick in the ass. Yet I know he’ll be a good father. Yes it seems everyone has moved on. Yet I can’t. I miss Omi, I miss what we had. Though I now realize that I loved him with all my heart yet he only gave me a small piece of himself in return. I even found out that he’s with Nagi now. It seems that he’s forgotten all about me. The man Omi became is now running a vast empire and is the head of the organization we once worked for. I still can’t get over the fact that the teen that once claimed to have feelings for me is now sleeping with a former member of Schwarz.

Chloe lightly nips Aya’s neck and his hands wander up his chest. There’s no way in hell I’m going to watch this. They’re acting as if I’m not even in the room.

That’s me… fucking invisible.

They might as well store me in a closet and let me out for missions. Ok so maybe I’m being a little harsh. Michel and I get along. He treats me like an older brother. Free… well Free is still a mystery to me. He’s nice enough when he speaks at all and I trust him with my life. I guess I trust Chloe as well. I can’t help that I want what he has. But I don’t blame Aya for not looking my direction. I mean come on Chloe is like a rose. Elegant and graceful and yes even beautiful. I’m like the weedy flower that grows beside the road. Impossible to kill but not much to look at. I can’t stand being cooped up any more. They both look up as I throw the pruners onto the table and stalk outside. I get a vague sort of satisfaction as the door slams hard enough to rattle the glass.

It’s pouring outside… fucking perfect.

The rain is cold and within minutes I’m soaked to the skin. Have I mentioned I don’t care for England at all? Rain, fog and more rain. I have a hard time with the language so I am, at times treated like an idiot. As if shouting at me would make me understand the language any better. I’m learning to speak English not deaf.

Damn weather… I look around for a place to take shelter. I really don’t want company.

If I go into the house Michel or Yuki will no doubt seek me out and really I need to be alone right now. I see the fogged glass of the greenhouse. At least it’ll be warm in there and I probably won’t be bothered.

I step inside and the warm moist air envelopes me like a hug. I close the door behind me and look at the benches with their rows of plants. It’s a veritable jungle in here and Aya’s Orchids take prominence along the back where it’s the warmest. I head there and stare at the delicate blooms. Most of them are varieties of the Cattleya orchid. And I finger the pink petals of the one nearest to me. Seems like Aya can’t let go either.

I know these remind him of the man he left behind. My damp clothes stick uncomfortably to my skin so I strip off my shirt and drape it along the end of the bench. This is mostly Aya’s domain. He truly enjoys nurturing these plants and the neat orderly rows and dirt free floor show his meticulous care. Suddenly tired I slump onto a stack of bagged sand for the propagation table. I rake my wet hair out of my eyes and realize I missed my last haircut appointment. Perhaps I’ll let it grow out… then I would look ridiculous. Aya’s hair has grown out again and is now long enough to braid. He has also quit dying it that awful burgundy and it is now back to its original crimson. I want to reach out and touch it like I’ve seen Chloe do so many times.

Damn it why couldn’t he like me that way? But I have to wonder if what I’m feeling is real.

Is this why I’m so fixated on Aya now? He’s familiar and the only family I have left.

When I first met him I thought Aya was a sanctimonious prick. I could not wait to plant my fist in his face. Since then I learned appearances can be deceiving. Aya cared about us all and helped keep us together during the bad times. He was the rock that we all clung to. But that had all fallen apart soon enough.

We started bickering among ourselves. That damned RV… I hated it. We had no permanent home anymore. Omi, well let’s just say he decided that duty was more important that I was. I swear to this day he was trying to push me away. Then one day he was gone and I had no one to keep the nightmares at bay anymore. Aya still had Yohji though it was getting harder for him to get through to the blond. It was hard for us to watch him come in night after night drunk and smelling of cheap perfume. By that time we had been set up in a new place and still carried out missions but without anything else to occupy our time. All I had was the kill, the mission. I gloried in the feel of my claws sinking into flesh. The fear, I could see in their eyes, it scares me to think of it now, but I got off on that fear. The smell of blood coppery and sharp filled my senses and colored my vision. I started to enjoy killing. I should have been horrified but I wasn’t. They were evil right? They deserved to die.

Yohji and I were fucking messes. I was sure he was using more than alcohol to mute the pain and I could not wait for the next mission. No wonder Omi could not get away from me fast enough. Yohji moved out of Aya’s room and they barely spoke to each other. Then we were split up. Yohji and I were sent to Germany and Aya to Koua academy. We were sent two new members but I did not even get the chance to know them before they were gone. I think I could have hated Persia… excuse me, Omi for inducting two more sacrificial lambs to the slaughter.

It was that mission the totally unhinged Yohji and I both. Those were kids I had to kill and it made no fucking difference. A target was a target. Yohji was to seduce one of the instructors since she was a suspected target. With him it was all or nothing. He got too attached to her and was devastated when he had to kill her. That night after I had taped his ribs and drugged him near senseless I had to listen to him crying and calling out Asuka’s name. On more than one occasion I had to go retrieve him from whatever place he’d ended up for the night. More often than not drunk or stoned off of his ass. One time the woman he had been with lay unconscious on the bed with finger marks around her throat. I had called the paramedics after I’d gotten the idiot out of there. I later found out she had been too drunk to remember who she had been with when questioned at the hospital. I was happy for Yohji now, I really was. He was free of this and of us. Mamoru said he was truly content and settled into his new life.

I lean back slightly and gasp as a sharp pain tears through my side. Damn scar tissue aches like a bitch when it rains. I finger the scar on my side. There is an identical one on my back. Another constant reminder of the redhead in the house. It’s a scar from Aya’s katana. I still remember the fierce burning pain as it penetrated my body. The sorrowful look in his eyes as he ran me through. All to kill that abomination that had been created in the lab beneath the school.

I jokingly told them I only needed one kidney. It was almost the truth. I nearly died in the helicopter on the way to the hospital. I spent a long time recovering. Aya had stayed till I was well enough to leave and then he too was gone. Saying goodbye to him at the airport was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I guess that day at the gazebo when Aya so graciously punched me in the gut, after I begged him to leave with me, was when I realized that my feelings for him might be more that platonic. Something I was not ready to admit even to myself.

I was far from healed mentally and could still feel the berserker lurking inside. I needed a place where I would be a danger to no one as I sorted out my life. Weiss was no more and I had become a liability. It would have been well within Kritiker’s right to put me down like a rabid dog. I suppose I should be grateful to Omi that he only stuck me in prison. He even sent a shrink to talk to me. One on his payroll of course. Once I got over my sullen resentment the therapist really did help. I talked to him three times a week for nearly a year. It was during that time that I learned to control the demons that lived inside of me. I learned not to fear them and that they were a part of me. I learned to find joy in the world again… at least for a little while.

After I got out Omi… pardon me, Mamoru thought I would do better leaving Japan all together. He arranged for me to join Krypton brand. Once an assassin always an assassin I guess. To be truthful I didn’t mind too much. It was one of the only things I was good at after all. I could hardly go back to soccer and had never even finished school. So what the hell else was I to have done? Imagine by utter shock when shortly after I joined Aya showed up looking worse for wear and nursing a gut injury.

We even have almost matching scars now. A case of mistaken identity and a kid with a knife had almost ended his life. So here we now were. Still assassins… same job just a different address. It had not taken Aya long to make himself right at home and Chloe shortly after staked his claim. I guess Aya has a thing for blonds.

God I have to shake myself out of this cycle of self-pity. Perhaps I should ask to talk to someone like I did when I was in prison. I close my eyes and drop my aching head into my hands. Then I hear the door open. I am SO not in the mood for company.

“Whoever you are just go away and leave me the hell alone.” I do not even acknowledge their presence as I hear them walk up behind me.

I feel hands on my shoulders. I can’t help it but to tense up even further. My breath freezes in my lungs as those hands start to massage the knots away. It’s been so long since anyone’s touched me that I want to lean back and purr. If it was a perfect world it would be Aya behind me. Those long slender fingers kneading my neck certainly could be his. My heart in my throat I open my eyes and look up. I see that last person I would ever have expected to see smiling down at me.

Chloe… his hands have stilled on my neck and his thumbs rest along my jaw. Lightly caressing the skin below my ear. Shocked I have no idea why he is here or what to say as I look up at him.


	2. Indecent Proposal

The one person I never expected to actively seek out my company was standing so close in the humid greenhouse that I could smell the rose scent of his skin. I always thought that scent to be particularly girlie but on him it fit. I mean look at the clothes he wore. Silks, velvets and brocades had all adorned his body. He even wore dressing gowns with touches of lace at the neck and sleeves. On anyone else it would have looked ridiculous.

So here Chloe is with his hands on me and I could not even remotely figure out why. My hair is a mess and I am sure I’m sweating. Wet jeans and ratty cross trainers completed the whole humiliating picture. I close my eyes again and hope he will just go away. I even sit forward a bit hoping to dislodge his hands no matter how good they feel. It didn’t work and he steps closer. His hands slide down and rest on my shoulders. I wait for the ax to fall, for him to tell me why he came out here.

“Why did you run out of the shop Ken? Didn’t you like what you saw?” His smooth as silk voice causes a shiver to go up my spine.

“I… I just needed some air.” Oh geez I’m stuttering. Can this get any more degrading?

Chloe leans even closer and I can feel the brush of air against my ear as he speaks. “Were you Jealous? Did you want Aya for yourself? You watch him all the time.”

Apparently it can get more degrading. Especially since I can feel the heat creep up my cheeks. “No! What ever gave you that idea? We’re friends and teammates. I’ve known Aya a long time that’s all. I just was remembering some unpleasant things and wanted to take a walk.”

Chloe’s amused chuckle makes me want to punch him.

“You are a lousy liar Ken. If what you say is true why are you blushing?”

His fingertips ghost up to brush my still burning cheek and I hold my breath.

“So your walk brought you out here. Are you hiding from us or are you hiding from yourself?”

“I told you Aya is my friend I would never… I mean I just do not feel that way about him.” I flinch again as his hand glides over my skin and down my back. It lingers on the scar that is still aching from the rain.

I wish he would stop touching me. Why the hell is he doing this anyway? I need to get out of here away from him. I wonder what game the blond is playing with me. He and Aya will probably laugh about flustering poor little Ken later when they were alone.

“Just leave ok? Stop touching me. I don’t like it.” Oh man now I sound like a teenage girl on her first date. I have sunk to new depths.

“You know,” Chloe says as he continues to explore the scar. “Aya really regrets hurting you. And the way he left. He has nightmares sometimes.”

“Fine he’s sorry, I’m sorry too about the whole fucking mess. We all have bad dreams. Now why the hell are you here? Is it to make fun of me?”

It’s been so long since someone caressed my skin like this my body is reacting rather predictably. All I need is for Aya to run me through again for getting a hard on while his boyfriend… lover… whatever they are to each other strokes my back. I have to get him to stop. I grab his hand when he reaches around to touch the matching scar on my lower abdomen. Nearly panicking I push him away. I’m so confused. Why me? What does he want? I’m repeating myself but the thoughts will not quit circling in my head.

Chloe sighs and looks at me like I am some naughty child he is losing patience with.

“As for what I want, shouldn’t I be asking you that question? What do you want Ken-Ken?”

I bristle at the use of that particular nick name. He has no right to call me that… Only Yohji and Omi ever called me that. I clench my teeth to keep from screaming then manage in a calm voice.

“Don’t call me that. Ever.” Like the coward I am I back further away.

I’ll be damned if he is not following me. The urge to punch him and run is almost overwhelming. I’m so unnerved that I back right into the bench holding the orchids.

Several pots fall to the floor and shatter. Way to go Ken… reinforce the rumor that I’m just a clumsy jock. I look at the mess of bruised plants and broken ceramic… Aya’s not going to be happy. I turn around and damn it he is right in front of me again. Chloe steps forward and his hand lightly pushes me in the chest. I sit rather abruptly and look up into his face. He’s smiling at me. It’s not a happy sort of a smile and it makes me extremely nervous.

“What are you running from Ken?” Such a simple question but I have no idea how to answer. I just stare into his ice blue eyes…they are so different from Omi’s. His eyes were the warm blue of a summer sky. Chloe’s almost chill me with their intensity.

I jump when he runs his finger up my chest. I cannot suppress the shudder at his touch. My hands clench into fists. I think he is flirting with me. I’m not sure though since this is definitely something I’m not used to.

Well that is not entirely true… Omi was a notorious flirt with his wide innocent eyes and beguiling smile. I would have done anything to see him smile. Then the smiles grew more forced and he pushed me away. I’m not bitter about that… really I’m not. There are some days when I even believe that’s true. But this… this is not innocent and lighthearted. It’s intense and freaking me the hell out.

Why me? Is he trying to make Aya mad? Like I’m anyone to get jealous over. Men like Chloe and Aya are the ones who get fought over. I usually fade into the background. So I would be fooling myself to think for one moment that an exotic man like Chloe would be interested in plain old me. So this has to be some elaborate joke and I’m in no mood to be made fun of. I also can’t stomach the fact that he is in here with me and Aya is right there in the house.

His hand lingers over my heart and it feels so warm against my chilled skin. So here I sit waiting for someone to yell gotcha and the joke will be over. I can go back inside to my room alone and Chloe can go to Aya. I sometimes wonder about the things they do to each other. I can’t help myself and they’re not exactly quiet when I pass by their room at night.

Anyone with a pulse would think about how they look together entwined in each others arms. That imagined image has fueled several of my own fantasies. It’s never myself that I see in Aya arms but the blond before me. Two perfectly beautiful men finding joy in each others bodies. I don’t picture myself with Aya because I know it’ll never happen.

Plus picturing something I can’t have is a sure fire mood killer. So it’s Aya and Chloe that I jerk off to when I get so lonely. Pathetic isn’t it? That’s part of the reason this situation I’m now in is unnerving me so much. One half of my fantasy is here touching me and all I can think about is escaping. Of how hurt Aya will be if he knows what his lover is doing. Who am I kidding he would he would laugh himself silly and wonder If Chloe has gone insane for wanting to touch me.

Chloe is so close he’s standing between my spread legs. There’s no way he can miss my involuntary reaction to him. Sure enough he looks right at my crotch and the tightly stretched denim. Totally mortified now I lower my head and stare at the floor. Perhaps if I ignore him he’ll go away. A moment later I feel a slender finger slip under my chin and raise my head. Chloe isn’t smiling anymore; somehow I would rather have him smiling. This intense scrutiny is too much for me to handle. He lowers his head and I’m frozen. His lips are now a scant inch from mine. I can smell the cinnamon tea he’d been drinking before he followed me out here. His breath caresses my slightly parted lips as he whispers.

“What are you afraid of Ken?” Then he lowers his lips to mine.

It’s a soft touch, just a light undemanding pressure. I want to grab him and return the kiss. It’s been too long and my body is more than willing. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks…Chloe is actually kissing me. I’m a dead man… Aya is going to kill me. I still don’t know what game he’s playing. His hands twine in my hair and I feel the silken slide of his tongue against my lips I realize this has gone far enough. I don’t know what prompted Chloe to go slumming but I refuse to be his toy. With shaking hands I shove him so hard he’s taken by surprise and falls backward. Now lying sprawled over the bags of sand I was using earlier for a seat he looks up at me and narrows his eyes.

“Why did you do that? You were obviously enjoying yourself.” That smirk is back on his face and I want to hit him again.

“Damn you Chloe! What the hell are you playing at? Is this some elaborate joke just to mock me? How can you do this to Aya? He loves you and you come out here to waste time with me. God… If I only I had what you have. You unappreciative ass.” I’m so angry now words spill from my mouth with no thought to what I am saying. “You two are just so fucking perfect together. How can you be trying to seduce a nobody like me? You conceited Prick I love Aya and here you are…”

Oh shit… Now I’ve done it. I admitted something I swore never to tell anyone. Damn him! Mortified beyond belief I rush from the greenhouse before Chloe can laugh his ass off. I enter the house through the kitchen and slam the door. Aya is standing there making a pot of tea. I need to get away from him. Shame makes me flush crimson as I hurry from the room; I take the steps two at a time in my haste to get to my room. Ignoring my wet jeans I take a dark grey T-shirt from my dresser. I pull it over my head and grab my leather jacket on the way out the door.

Careful to avoid anyone I make my way to the garage to my bike. I stand for a moment admiring the sleek lines of my Ducati Sport. The one thing I missed the most was my motorcycle. Being cooped up in prison, while being a good place to get my head together, nearly killed me with claustrophobia. I hate riding in cars and despite urging to do so I never got one for myself after I joined Krypton Brand.

So for my last birthday I was led blindfolded to the Garage by a giggling Michel. I nearly broke down in tears when they let me look. There sitting in the garage was a bike with a big silver bow. I’d owned a Ducati back in Tokyo and had barely had a chance to ride it before everything went to hell. This one was so much nicer. The gift had stunned me speechless and they all stood around waiting for me to say something.

I remember finally whooping with delight and hugging everyone, even a surprised Free. Ok so I might have hung onto Aya for a few seconds more than the rest of them. He even had to shove me off him and with a grin handed me a helmet and told me to try it out. I did not return till almost dawn. I reveled in the freedom the bike gave me and a sense of peace. Now it’s my escape and I fully intend to use it. I need to think and to get away from Chloe for a while and try to work out just what the hell had happened.

I curse when I see that my helmet is not here. I vaguely remember leaving it in the storeroom. Damn it I don’t want to go back in the house. Before the door is opened I listen and do not hear a sound. I sneak back inside and into the storage room and sure enough the helmet is sitting on the floor near the door. I scoop it up and leave the room. The sound of raised voices freeze me in me tracks as I try to slip back into the garage. The noise appears to be coming from the kitchen. Aya and Chloe are arguing and I make out my name in what little of the conversation I can hear. Oh god they are fighting because of me. Now I really need to get out of here before Aya decides to come and find me.

I didn’t get up this morning and say to myself… today I am going to ruin a relationship.

Damn Chloe for using me and damn Aya for making me want him.

I open the garage door and climb on my bike. As I roar out of the building and ride off down the street I wonder if I really want to come back at all.


	3. Chapter 3

“Damn stupid drunk drivers…freakin wet pavement. Why me? Who did I piss off?” I try and get comfortable in the car but it’s impossible. Every square inch of me hurts.

“Ken will you stop fidgeting. Do you want to go back to the hospital?” I look over at Aya who is gripping the wheel of his car tightly. I’m pissing him off with my grumbling. Why couldn’t it have been anyone else that picked me up?

I mumble that I’m sorry and Aya reaches over to pat my knee, the one without the brace. The gesture is uncharacteristic of him and it surprises me a bit. “Just relax and you can have a pain pill when you get home. It will be about an hour so try and get some sleep.” Then he smiles at me… It’s no wonder he doesn’t smile very often. If he did it might just kill me.

I close my eyes and attempt to do as he asks. My head aches and I know sleep is not an option. It’s been a wild 36 hours. First Chloe decides to thoroughly confuse me then I wreck my bike. Dammit I loved that bike and I know even without looking at it that it is a total loss. I wiped out pretty bad. As I try to relax I think about the accident and what happened after.

Ok so I had been going a bit too fast when that guy shot out of a side lane and broadsided me. I catapulted off the bike and not even my life flashed in front of my eyes. I had no time for regrets or prayers. I think I yelled a curse or two before I hit the pavement and skidded quite a ways. Even with the helmet when my chin hit the ground I was out like a light. I came to in the ambulance as someone was checking me over. I lost some time again and finally woke up in one of the hospital rooms. Apparently they got my address out of my wallet because when I opened my eyes again Aya was sitting at my bedside. Much like he had done after I got stabbed in the gut.

The same worried expression was on his face and for a second my concussed brain had trouble sorting out just where and when I was. I was feeling a bit floaty from the IV. It must have had some damn good painkillers in it. I figured I’d been dreaming because right when I woke I could have sworn someone had been holding my hand. Must have been wishful thinking I guess. Still Aya did look concerned.

I had asked him how bad the damage was. I should be glad I was alive at all. Usually in motorcycle accidents of this type survival rate was not very high. He rattled off the list of my injuries. It’s a damn good thing I was pumped full of drugs because just listening to the list made me ache. While the helmet had probably saved my life my chin had a nasty cut and was the first thing that had needed to be stitched. The leather jacket had mostly protected my arms and torso but my hands were scraped and there was a nasty tear on the back of my right hand. It too had needed 10 stitches to close. Next was the damage to my legs as my jeans had offered little protection against the rough, gravely surface of the road. I initially landed on my left side so that leg was one big bruise, my knee was wrenched and the ankle broken. My other leg had its share of cuts and scrapes too some of which had needed the needle and thread treatment. Just great… more fucking scars. Now I was sure most people would run screaming if they saw my battered body.

I had needed a total of 82 stitches on the various cuts. Also adding to the misery was one hell of a concussion which was why they were keeping me in the hospital over night. The drugs made me sleepy and I made no effort to resist. Although I could have sworn Aya stayed at my bedside all night long. That too could have been more wishful thinking and the haze from the medication. The next morning Aya was nowhere to be seen and after an extremely embarrassing use of a bedpan while the nurse looked away I was seen by the doctor and told I could go home that evening of I continued to improve.

Aya had returned early afternoon with Michel in tow and the chibi took one look at me and nearly burst into tears. See I told you I was ugly. I had decided to torture myself earlier by looking in a mirror. I was black and blue nearly everywhere. My chin was a Technicolor mass of mottled reds, blacks and purples that had bloomed up the left side of my face. The imp hugged me carefully and did his best to entertain me. He even shared my awful lunch and handed me his favorite comic book to read. Knowing that my grasp of English sucked he happily read it out loud.

Free showed up shortly after lunch and expressed his sympathy. He also stated that if I had consulted him before I had left the house the accident never would have happened. He’d seen it in the cards. He has a touch of the same type of power that Crawford boasted. Only Free used Tarot spreads to read the future. It was eerie how right out of the blue he would tell you something or even warn you. The cautions were usually a bit vague but we had known him long enough not to discount them. Michel was starting to wear me out with his boundless exuberance so Free gathered the hyper chibi up and had taken him home.

They were starting to wean me off the more powerful pain medication and the IV had been removed. I would have loved to have stayed connected a while longer because now I was starting to really feel all the damage I had done myself. Despite that I was able to sleep for a while. Aya remained in my room which I thought a rather touching gesture. Or it would have been if I had not been so bloody nervous. He apparently knew what happened in the greenhouse but had not said a word about it. Perhaps he was waiting till I felt better before killing me. Every time he touched me to adjust my pillows or help me to get comfortable I flinched. I couldn’t help it… he had to be mad at me.

I hated hospitals with a passion and by the time seven pm rolled around I was dying to go home. The doctor had checked me out one more time and released me. I could not leave fast enough. They dressed me in some hospital scrubs since my clothes had been a total loss and I was wheeled out to Aya’s car. I swear I blushed three shades of scarlet as he had put his arms around me and lifted me into the passenger seat of his car.

Now the silence stretches between us on the ride home. The interior of the car is dark and I struggle to think of something to say. The hand on my leg earlier and the touches he has been giving me all day is confusing me a bit. Usually Aya is not that tactile of a person. I guess I have Chloe to thank for that. Oh… Chloe. I will have to face him again. I groan at the thought.

“Are you all right? Would you like some pain pills now? I can get you some bottled water.” Aya briefly glances my direction as if to assess my condition for himself.

“No I’m ok. I’ll wait till we get home. So Aya what happened to the guy that hit me?” I know that he would have found out and I admit to being curious.

“That bastard was so drunk he did not even stop after he hit you. He didn’t get away though. Your bike got tangled up under his car and he hit a telephone pole. The police arrested him. The idiot was not even hurt and insisted he did not see a thing.” Aya hesitates then says in a soft voice. “I’m sorry about your bike Ken. I know it meant a lot to you.”

I’m glad for the darkness inside the car as I feel my eyes tear up. It’s not just the bike. It is the fact that they had all given it to me for a present. I cannot keep the waver out of my voice as I answer. “It’s ok… hey it’s only a bike.”

I try to be nonchalant about it but Aya has known me too long. He realizes how upset I am. In what I’m sure he thinks is a comforting gesture he places his hand on my knee and gently squeezes. Then leaves it there. I tense up which causes me to ache more. Now it’s Aya’s turn to freak me out. When did it become pick on Ken Week? I breathe a huge sigh of relief when we pull into the driveway and Aya moves his hand to hit the garage door opener. He pulls the car inside and turns off the motor. I can see Chloe in the garage leaning against his car as if waiting for us.

“Hang on a few moments more and we’ll get you to your room.” Aya pats my shoulder before getting out of the car. Damn it what’s with all this touching?

I watch as Chloe comes up to him and looks right at me before kissing Aya warmly. I get the impression he’s staking his claim or something. He turns his aquamarine eyes on me again as he playfully licks Aya’s cheek. He gets swatted for his boldness which earns Aya a delighted laugh. I feel vaguely sick again. Damn it why does he have to flaunt what he has in front of me? I start to get nervous when I realize that it is going to take the two of them to get me to my room. Damn it why me? At this rate I will have an ulcer before the week is over.


	4. Catch Me, I'm Falling

After Chloe’s little show I decide that I really don’t want their help. While they are so wrapped up in each other I open the car door and use it to brace me as I try and get to my feet. There is a pair of crutches in the back seat. All I have to reach back and grab them. I balance on one foot and grit my teeth as pain lances though my leg. Damn it I can do this! I bend over to get the crutches. Big mistake... a wave of dizziness washes over me and it is all I can do to hang onto the car door. The crutches I’m reaching for fall to the garage floor making a hell of a racket and I nearly follow them. The only thing keeping me upright is the car itself. My eyes are closed as I try not to be sick all over the floor. I feel an arm wrap around my waist.

“Ken you idiot. You should have waited in the car.” I stiffen at the comment and try to pull away. All I need is for Aya to call me names in front of Chloe.

Now I really don’t want their help. “I’m not an idiot... what is it with you people? So I had an accident. That does not make me clumsy or stupid. I’m sure the both of you got a good little laugh out of poor Ken. Just leave me the hell alone!” My dramatic exit was spoiled by two things... not being able to walk and now Chloe’s arm joined Aya’s to try and keep me in one spot.

“Ken calm down you’ll only hurt yourself if you keep fighting us.” Chloe’s calm cool voice did nothing to check my anger. I need to get away from the both of them. Why the hell couldn’t Free have picked me up from the hospital?

I take a deep breath and shove them both hard. Chloe and Aya stumble backward. I’m in no mood to be coddled by the two people responsible for my constant state of confusion. I don’t want to be calm either. I just want to get to my room, take some pills and pass out. Taking a few deep breaths I reach for the crutches again. The cut on my hand aches like a bitch and the doctor told me to try and not use the hand for a couple of days. Oh well so much for that idea. All I have to do is get to my room and I can pretend none of the past few days ever happened. I’m even debating whether or not I want to come out again.

This time I overbalance and fall. I guess this is proof that I’m clumsy. I wince in anticipation of how much hitting the concrete floor is going to hurt. So imagine my surprise when the thing I land on is soft and yielding. The impact is gentle and even though the slight distance to the floor is stopped my wounds make a wave of nausea rise. I’m more than content to lie there for a few moments and just breathe.

That is until a voice with more than a hint of a smirk jars me back to just what it is I’m lying on. “Well Ken-Ken, I guess you really do care. It seems you have made yourself quite comfortable.”

I really don’t want to open my eyes. I wonder if they’ll let me crawl quietly away. Reluctantly though I do need to move. The position I’m in is hideously uncomfortable and my leg is throbbing hard enough to make me even more light headed. I do open my eyes and look at the person I landed on as I fell. Sure enough I’m sprawled on top of Chloe. He must have dived forward to catch me and cushion my fall. Can the night possibly get any worse?

“If you two are done playing?” Aya’s question further reminds me of the position I’m in. “Ken you need to get some rest and the floor is not the best place to do that. Why are you being so difficult? We’re only trying to help you.”

Aya is wearing his disapproving face. It’s one I have come to know well over the years. His statement takes me a bit aback. Help me? Help me to do what? It’s what they want that scares the hell out of me.

“Well Gee Aya I thought I’d stay down here. Even if it makes me want to scream in pain.” I can’t keep the sarcasm out of my answer. He’s genuinely trying to help me but I don’t have it in me right now to put up with their little game.

“Hmm Aya… I do not mind if he stays here. It’s quite nice to hold him and perhaps I can get another kiss.” I’m afraid my mouth gapes open at Chloe’s little confession. Also once again I’m blushing like a school girl. That’s it Aya will kill us both.

I start to shove Chloe and end up accidentally kicking him rather hard. This time when I lose my balance and am dumped backward I do hit the floor. Granted it was only a fall of mere inches but my body yells in protest. I can’t hold back the pained groan.

“All right that is it! Chloe help me get him up. No more arguments Ken. So just shut up and let us help you.” Uh oh Aya is using his I-am-the-leader-you-will-not-dare-disobey-me voice. Besides I hurt too damn much to fight them anymore.

I know I must look as bad as I feel and by the time they lever me to my feet I’m shaking. Ok so it was stupid of me to fight them so hard but dammit they have me so confused. I care about Aya… too much and their behavior towards me emphasizes how alone I really am. The glimpses that Aya and Chloe show me of their life make me wish for something that I can’t have. So their teasing is like a knife to the gut. I don’t know what they hope to accomplish but Chloe’s flirting is only making it worse. The most unnerving thing of all is Aya being so touchy feelie with me. I can’t conceive why. Other than I’m the only thing left to remind him of Weiss.

I have to give Chloe credit though for making Aya live again. After he lost Yohji he was rapidly becoming the unfeeling bastard he was when Weiss was first brought together. Chloe breezed into his life and didn’t relent till Aya opened up to him. Since then they have been inseparable. It’s only these last several months I noticed him withdrawing again. Though I was too wrapped up in my unrequited feelings for Aya to ask him what the problem was. Even if I had I would not have expected an answer… Aya had never really opened up to me and I didn’t expect him to now.

The trip upstairs is humiliating enough with the both of them practically carrying me. If I had the energy I would have tried to make it up on my own but my previous attempt ended so spectacularly that I didn’t want to try it again. Plus Aya really would hit me. It’s a good thing that all I can think about is getting to bed or the embarrassment of having them so close would’ve made me blush again. Even so their scent surrounds me and I breathe it in grateful for the distraction. It’s so damned unfair… they’re so beautiful. Aya would laugh at me for calling him that but it was true. Handsome just does not cover it. That’s the reason I can not figure out why they are paying so much attention to me. It’s got to be a misunderstanding… just two team mates helping another. Yeah right … like I believe that. It’s some elaborate joke and I’m getting sick of waiting for the punch line. But I’m repeating myself again. It’s just so hard to grasp that Chloe and Aya are paying so much attention to me.

Despite being very unnerved I have no choice but to let them help me up the stairs and to my room. Their linked arms rest low on my back and I’m very aware of the warmth of their bodies through the thin cotton scrubs. They’re supporting almost my full weight since I’m so bloody tired and hurt more than seems necessary for my injuries. I hate being so helpless and the recent baffling behavior of Chloe and Aya really is not helping at all. I can’t shake the image of the two of them kissing. I wonder for one brief moment what it would be like if… no, no, no. Mustn’t go there. I don’t want to have those thoughts with them so close. Chloe smells of roses and the leather from his trench coat. It’s a heady combination that makes me want to burrow my nose under the collar and inhale deeply.

I must have some kind of leather fetish; the coat is a deep wine red and very supple. Aya is also dressed in leather. His jacket is black and hits him mid-thigh. The spiciness of his aftershave surrounds me and have the same urge to cover myself in that scent. He smells of home. I want to reach out and touch them both. It must be the head injury making me loopy. I’m really not myself… why else would I be thinking these things?

The door to my room is a most welcome sight. It seems like it took forever to get from the car to this point. Thank goodness I cleaned it several days ago. Normally there would be clothes scattered about and assorted other items littering the place. Really though I’m not near the slob I used to be. Therapy taught me that control starts with my environment. It’s the one thing in my chaotic life that I could have complete charge of. I slowly took back my life one small step at a time.

Another one of my vices since moving to England is that I love auctions. I would go to estate sales with an excited Michel in tow and buy beautifully made furniture. My bed is a massive mahogany Queen Anne four poster with clawed feet. I never thought I’d hear the end of the complaining as everyone helped get it upstairs after the truck delivered it. Oddly enough I was not teased for my purchases. Chloe even commented that I had some taste after all. The rest of the suite of furniture is equally impressive. A Belgian armoire and a bow front dresser all in the same type of wood. The pieces did not match each other but I picked them because I like the way they look. Plus the age of the pieces and their substantial weight comfort me and make me feel like this is really my permanent home. Also as much as I like rising early in the morning I do like my little luxuries. The bed is piled with pillows and a big navy blue down comforter. Chloe reaches down and opens my door and for once there were no comments on the state of my living quarters. I groan at the thought of sinking into my bed and sleeping for a few days.

“Hang on Ken we’re almost to the bed. Then you can have a pain pill and rest.” Aya guides me to the bed while Chloe disappears into the bathroom.

I suffer through Aya helping me into bed and taking off those stupid hospital slippers. I keep my mouth shut as he props my leg up on some of the pillows. It feels so good to finally be off my feet and in my decadently soft bed.

“Are you done with your little tantrum Ken? Honestly I do not see why you fought us so much.” Aya’s disapproving tone causes my temper to flare despite my fatigue.

“Well If you would act like yourself and not some pod person maybe I would’ve let you help me. You and Chloe are freaking me out… it’s like you two have been replaced by aliens or something.” I roll my eyes and shake my head. Doesn’t he even realize?

“You are not making any sense Ken. I think you need some sleep. Here’s your medicine, now take it like a good boy and perhaps I’ll give you a treat.” Chloe’s smile is really getting on my nerves. He’s come back into the room and is holding two white pills in front of my face along with a glass of water.

“Ken just take the pills.” Oh great now they are ganging up on me.

“Fine. Anything to get you two out of here.” I open my mouth like a good little boy and take the damn pills. The water is held up to my mouth and I manage to not let any dribble down my chin.

“Now for your treat…” My eyes widen as Chloe leans in close. He won’t… he can’t… I recoil a bit but there is no escape. I close my eyes and feel the briefest warmth caress my cheek and a slight pressure. He kissed my cheek... perhaps Aya will let me live. Warily I crack open one eye and am met with the intensity of Chloe’s light blue eyes. He’s still way too close. I feel warm all of a sudden and am not sure if it is the man in front of me or the medication.

“Are you done yet?” this is getting ridiculous. I feel too crappy to play along.

“Hmmm… for now. You’re too hurt for anything else.” He then gives me a look I can’t even begin to figure out. Kind of a half smile with a smirk attached. I also don’t even want to think about what he just said. I’m just relieved that after he says a few words to Aya that I can’t hear then Chloe leaves shutting the door on the way out.

I breathe a sigh of relief and wallow in the floaty feeling from the pills. They must have given me some good ones. Then it occurs to me that I’m not alone. Aya is still in the room. I look over at him and wonder why he has not left as well.

“How are you feeling now?” His smooth deep voice is oddly soothing.

“Kinda out of it.” The pain is melting away and sleep seems a real possibility. “Pain going away. Why’re you still here?”

“The doctor wants someone to look out for you tonight. I said I ‘d stay.” Aya pulls a chair up to the bed and sits down. His hand brushes the hair away from my forehead. Then lightly traces the bruises decorating my face. I find it hard to even breathe as he touches me. “You really made a mess of yourself Ken.”

I’m disappointed when he stops and pulls the covers up under my chin. I fear I must have a rather goofy smile on my face. Pain pills do that to me.

“S’alright. Seems to be just my luck.” I’m so tired at this point I can barely keep my eyes open. The last sight I see as I drift off is Aya looking at me kinda wistfully. I also must be imagining the brush of lips against mine. If not for the drugs I certainly would not have murmured two words that might get me into a lot of trouble when I wake up… that is if I even remember I said them.

“Love you…


	5. Too Late to Turn Back Now

I really don’t want to wake up... it’s warm and comfortable where I am and the pain from the night before is a distant memory. So I lay in my bed just content to drift in the semi-haze from the medication. At least that’s until I become aware of being touched. It’s not that I mind being touched but here in my room it’s unsettling. No one but Michel ever comes into my room unannounced. He will breeze in excited about something and wanting to share.

So the question remains who is touching me? Aya... now I remember. Aya was going to stay in here last night to keep an eye on me. I was surprised by the gesture and wonder if I’d said or done anything to embarrass myself. Fingers stroke across my face and down my jaw. It’s so light I can barely feel the soft caress as it outlines the bruises. Then across my chest and I forget to breathe as the hand starts to slip under the edge of my waistband. I try not to move, it’s so tempting to just lie here to see how far Aya will go. It’s been so damned long since anyone touched me. Even if my mind protests my body is craving the warmth of those hands.

I’m disappointed when the hands progress no further. I want it but I feel horribly guilty. Aya is not mine... I have to keep repeating that to myself. At least until I believe it. I’m having a hard time though... no pun intended. It’s beyond me why Aya is touching me like this when Chloe is but a few doors away. Now I feel warmth of a different kind on my cheek. Soft and wet... lips this time trace the same path. When they linger on my neck just below my ear I can’t keep still. The last person to do this was... damn it! I swore not to think of him anymore. He has someone new to love. My body responds and I shudder at the sensation. Oh... God he is licking me. That spot right behind my ear that turns me into a quivering puddle. A small moan escapes my lips.

“Aya....”

“Sorry to disappoint you again Ken-Ken but Aya isn’t here.” A familiar voice interrupts the haze of lust and my eyes snap open to see Chloe leaning over me.

He’s lying on my bed smiling wickedly. Oh shit... why him? Why was I enjoying it so much? Why did I want him to continue? It’s so unfair, attacking me like this when I’m drugged. From his smile I can tell this is amusing the hell out of him. I don’t find it funny though and shove him to one side as I try to scoot away. BIG mistake. All my injuries come glaringly to life and remind me why moving is a really bad idea.

“Ow! Shit! Ow! Damn it! Get away from me!” I decide that flat on my back is a good thing as I try and ride out the pain from abruptly trying to get up.

“Now why would I want to do that? It’s so very comfortable here. If I had any idea Ken I would have joined you ages ago.” He is leaning over me again. His perfect face is mere inches from mine.

I’m sure he notices my reaction to his indecent assault on my poor abused body. Ok I am being overly dramatic but damned if I don’t feel like I’m stuck in a soap opera.

“Why are you here? Where’s Aya?” I really wish he would give me some space. Besides he had to have been the one to pull back the covers. It makes me feel really strange to know he’s been staring at me as I slept. I really hope I’d not been drooling or snoring.

“Hmm... you mean the Aya you were calling out to a moment before? By the way Ken you moan very sexily. I almost want to hear it again.” He leans closer and I freeze... damn it why didn’t I just push him away. Maybe I want to see just what it is he’ll do to make me moan.

Chloe just looks at me for a moment and laughs. It is a nice deep little chuckle that makes me shiver. It sounds so indulgent and full of knowing sensuality. He rolls over and stretches. It reminds me of a big cat... all loose limbed and content.

“What are you doing here Chloe? What are you trying to do to me?”

Chloe turns back over onto his side and props his chin in his hand. “Come on Ken I didn’t think even you were this dense. I’m trying to seduce you.” There’s that cocky grin again. I swear I can’t take much more of this teasing.

“But why?” I’m afraid my eyes are bugging out a bit at his straightforward answer.

“You are undeniably cute and I have a soft spot for wounded creatures... it is the empathy in me. I cannot resist.” He looks up at me through his half lowered eyelashes and I very nearly want to crawl in to his lap so he can pet me.

My suspicious mind though interferes. “So you’re saying that because I’m cute and wounded you feel the need to come on to me?”

“Well no but it sounded like a good excuse. Honestly though I have been watching you for a while Ken and wanted a taste of what you have to offer. I was curious to see what it was like to kiss you. Anyway back to your earlier question... I sent Aya to bed. He was tired and I volunteered to keep an eye on you. Unlike Aya who did not mind sitting in the chair I prefer to be more comfortable. This nice big bed of yours looked too inviting to pass up. So here I am.” I have a hard time swallowing his explanation as to why he is treating me like this. Why would he want me when he has Aya?

“Well forgive me if I don’t believe you. How come you’re so interested now? What about Aya? Like you would throw him over for me. Come on Chloe what is the real reason. Quit messing with me.”

He shakes his head as if in disbelief. “You really have no idea how irresistible you truly are. Ken I knew you were modest but this is going a bit too far. Why would I not want you? I do like to surround myself with pretty things and though you are a bit rough around the edges I find myself drawn to you. Besides Aya has feelings for you and I really do not want to give him up. I am however, willing to share.”

Now I know he’s lying. Aya have feelings for me? Yeah right! “That’s a load of bullshit. Aya has no interest in me. Just get out Chloe and leave me alone. I’m tired of your games and tired of being so damned confused.”

I watch him gracefully get off of the bed and walk to the window. “If you insist Ken.” He sighs and turns towards me. “Besides you’re much too hurt to do the things that I want to do with you.”

It’s my turn to gape again and I can feel the blush creeping up my face. Do to me? Oh Lord what have I gotten myself into? As I lie here wondering what to do next a rather insistent urge makes itself known. I need to relieve myself and the prospect of getting to the bathroom on my own is an impossibility. Damn it why me?

I stare for a moment at his profile. The morning light streaming in makes him almost seem to glow. I look at him closely. More so than I ever have before. His tall frame is toned and lightly muscled. His skin is pale cream and his face to a shade too pretty to be called handsome. I’m glad he shares so little resemblance to my former blond lover. Omi’s coloring ran to honey blond and sky blue. He radiated warmth and light. Chloe on the other hand is a combination of platinum blond and ice blue. Coolly aloof and sinfully elegant describes the man standing at my window.

He says Aya wants me and that he would share. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Aya has never shown any interest in me before. Share how? This is one of the thoughts reeling in my aching head. I’m so sure Aya knows nothing about Chloe’s proposition. The redhead is not the sharing type. I’ll have to talk to Aya. There is no help for it. I have to get to the bottom of what’s going on. It’ll have to wait though because Chloe is leaving the room and my need is getting more urgent by the moment.

I really hate to ask him for anything and try to come up with a way to let him know I need some help. Without losing what little dignity I have left.

It seems my potential help is almost out the door... damn it why me? “Chloe? Um I need some help.”

He stops and turns back to me. “Yes Ken?” Why does he have to look so smug? This is the last thing I would ever envision myself asking him. God this is so embarrassing.

“I need help to the bathroom.” There I said it.

“What Ken? I couldn’t hear you. Really must you mumble?” As soon as I’m better I think I really will kill him. Something messy I think…involving lots of mud.

“I said I need help to the bathroom!” My teeth are gritted so hard I’ll probably end up with a worse headache. I just have to keep telling myself… I will get through this, I will get through this.

“Oh is that all? Of course I’ll help you.” I roll my eyes at his clearly feigned helpfulness. I also get the impression he’s enjoying this to the hilt. At least he’s not laughing in my face. He walks back over to the bed and I sit up. His arm goes around my waist and we both get me to my feet.

I manage to mumble a thank you and after his rather personal attention this morning I am hyper aware of his closeness. Maybe I should have just gone out and found someone to sleep with. I suppose it would not have been difficult to pick someone up in a bar. I’m kidding myself though. I don’t want a one night stand since I can’t have what I do want. Oh sure Chloe all but offered Aya to me on a silver platter. That’s why I’m sure Aya has no idea what the blond is up to. The Aya I know would never agree to that. He would more than likely show me the business end of his Katana. Having been there once I have no desire to face that blade again.

Aya is not a homicidal maniac but he is a very private man who does not give out his affection lightly. It took Yohji forever to break through that indifferent shell and Chloe has to goad his lover to not retreat back into it. This infatuation Chloe says Aya has with me is just probably echoes from the past and it’s cruel of them to give me the hope that he really does care. I also have to wonder why it’s Chloe making all the advances if Aya says he has feelings for me. At this point I think they’re both crazy.

“There you go Ken. Do you need me to…?” Chloe’s question makes me realize we are now in the bathroom. Man I zoned out there for a bit.

I hastily reply to his question. “No… I can handle it from here. Thanks. I’ll call you when I’m done.”

“I’m sure you can “handle” it Ken. I’ll be waiting.” Damn it there’s that smirk again.

“Out!” Chloe blows me a kiss and closes the door behind him. I’m relieved he even closed the door.

Using the towel bar I brace myself up and take care of business. Then I hobble over to the sink and wash my hands. I make the mistake of glancing in the mirror. The bruises look even worse today. I also notice something else. I smell… oh geez and Chloe was touching and kissing me. It’s a wonder he didn’t pass out. There is no way I am going back in there like this. Even though I’m not supposed to I decide to take a shower. I manage to sit down on a chair I usually use to hang my clothes and slip out of the scrubs I wore to bed. They go on the floor in a heap and I look at the brace on my knee. It will have to come off too. The Velcro straps are easy enough to remove and I carefully peel the apparatus off my leg. It starts to throb and is an unappetizing array of scrapes and bruises. I should consider myself lucky that I didn’t do permanent damage.

Now how to keep the light cast on my ankle and foot dry? I remember that there are some plastic bags under the sink. A few moments later with the use of one of the bags and a few rubber bands I’m ready to get in the shower. Slowly I get to my feet and I ignore the stabbing pains shooting from my knee. I turn the taps on and soon the room is filled with steam. My need to be clean makes me rush a bit to get into the shower. The water is hotter than I like but feels so good after I get used to the fierce stinging as it hits my abraded skin. The only way I can manage is by leaning against the tiled wall and wash as quickly as I can. The last thing I need is Chloe bursting in wondering what is taking so long. It’s amazing that he has not noticed the sound of running water. Perhaps he found something better to do than molest me.

After a quick wash of my hair I lean over to turn off the water. My leg chooses at that point to buckle. Thrown completely off balance I frantically reach for anything to break my fall. Damn this is going to hurt. My scrabbling hands encounter the hose for the shower massage and in desperation I latch on to it. Of course it does nothing to help and simply pulls free of the faucet as I fall. Water sprays everywhere as I hit the floor. I twist so I land on my undamaged leg and shoulder. The impact still drives all the breath out of my lungs and pain lances through every cut and bruise bringing tears to my eyes and a gasped string of cuss words.

To make matters even worse the door flies open. Chloe is in the doorway and he does not look happy. I’m not too thrilled either.

“Ken what the hell are you doing? Are you trying to kill yourself?” The irate blond throws open the shower door and glowers down at me. Great… naked and humiliated can it get any worse?

I should know better than to think that. Here I am in a sodden heap on the shower floor looking like I am at death’s door and Michel peeks around Chloe.

“What happened? I brought the tray like you asked Chloe. Where is….? Oh… Um… I’ll just leave it here next to the bed.” Michel’s eyes are huge as he looks down at me and I don’t blame him at all for leaving quickly. Now if only Chloe will follow and let me die in peace.

“Well now that Michel is scarred for life… are you alright Ken? We need to get you out of there. Honestly you’re so stubborn. You should’ve waited for one of us to help you.” It’s futile to try and cover myself when all of my injuries hurt to the point where I want to cry.

I will not dignify that with an answer. I’ll make sure and get my revenge later when I can think coherently. I have to suffer through getting picked up again and sat on the chair dripping wet. Chloe is wet now too and his silk shirt is possibly ruined. Serves him right for freaking me out. I’m grateful though when he hands me a towel. It goes right in my lap. I freeze as Chloe trails one finger up my arm and across my chest.

“Nice… very nice. As heavy as you are I would have teased you for being a bit fat. Now I can see I’m wrong. You still think you’re not worthy of my attention? A sculptor would love to have you for a model Ken. All hard planes and chiseled golden skin.” His finger tip traces my collarbone and downward. He stops just above my right nipple. I don’t even think I’m breathing at this point. I can’t let him do this. I slap his hand away.

“Back off Chloe. I’m not in the mood. Not now… not ever.” I still hurt badly. I’m still naked and wet and I really want to crawl under the covers and hide.

“Hmm… I think your body betrays you Ken.” His eyes flicker down to the slight bulge I was trying to hide with the towel. “But I’m being rude. You must really be hurting. I’ll help you dry off and dress. Then back to bed.

“Just help me then leave… please.” I’m worn out again and need to be alone to think.

I hope my defeated tone finally gets through to him because he gently dries my hair with a towel then helps dry the rest of me. He hisses in sympathy at all my injuries and I am surprised at how careful he is being. Chloe leaves me sitting there as he goes into the bedroom. He returns a moment later with a pair of boxer briefs and a t-shirt. He makes sure not to comment on the state he left me in as he helps me slide them on. The soft form fitting cotton does nothing to hide me from his gaze. Damn it I’m blushing again.

Chloe simply grins when I catch him staring. He helps me with the shirt and takes the bag off my foot. “I don’t think you did any more damage Ken. Although I’m feeling a tad bit uncomfortable.” At that statement like a magnet my eyes are drawn to his groin. Which is unfortunately nearly at eye level.

I really wish I hadn’t looked. He’s aroused and not ashamed to let me know. Why me? Does he know how long it’s been? I bet he does. It blows my mind that he’s actually turned on by me. It’s too much to think about. What the hell do I do? I think I’ll ignore it.

“Chloe just help me back to bed. I hurt too fucking much to play your games.”

“Alright Ken. Again I’m sorry. I never meant to freak you out so much.” Chloe picks up the brace and puts it back on my leg. It hurts like a bitch going on and I am gasping when he’s finished. It’s a short trip back to the bed for which I’m grateful. He helps me in and arranges the pillows under my leg and behind my head propping them both up.

I see now what Michel brought. It’s a breakfast tray with some oatmeal and sliced fruit. There is what I assume to be a cup of tea and more painkillers. Chloe places the tray on my lap and slaps my hand away as I reach immediately for the pills.

“Food first Ken then the pills.” Chloe makes himself comfortable at my bedside and bullies me into eating. Then at last he lets me take the pills.

“Thanks for helping me Chloe. But you still confuse the hell out of me.” After a while I feel the familiar lassitude of the drugs working. The pain starts to fade and I smile in relief.

“You know Ken you are truly breathtaking when you smile.” He leans over and lightly kisses me on the lips. It’s soft and sensual and damn me but I don’t want him to stop.

It ends after a brief moment and he stands up.

“Get some rest Ken. I’ll send Michel up later with some magazines and things.” He opens the door to my room and I see Aya in the hallway waiting for him. It hurts a bit that Aya does not come in to see me. But I guess they have a lot to talk about. Even though I woke up a few hours ago the pills make me sleepy.

I close my eyes and wonder what will happen next.


	6. Breathing Room

True to his word Michel is there when I wake up. He’s perched at the end of the bed reading a book. I lay there a while until the fuzziness from the pills goes away. Even though the pain killers are mostly worn off I do not hurt as much as before. Lying immobile has evidentially done me some good. I hate being in bed. Confining me is the worst thing a person can do and thanks to my accident I have no one to blame but myself.

I spend a few moments watching the youngest member of Krypton Brand. When I first laid eyes on him I was more than a little surprised. Michel… is well different. There’s really no other way to explain it. He comes across so sweetly innocent that it borders on sickening. I don’t know much about his past but up until he joined Krypton brand he had led a very violent life. Heck even the things he does now has little effect on his cheerfulness. He also has a rather unique fashion sense. Michel tends to favor kilts in a dizzying array of colors. Chloe has tried rather unsuccessfully to correct his odd dressing habits. The young man is also a very tactile person and loves to surround himself with things that are bright and soft. He doesn’t give a damn about whether or not the items he chooses could be considered feminine. If he likes it he wears it. He has though; over the last several months started adding more conventional items to his wardrobe. I think that’s courtesy of Yuki’s influence.

In unguarded moments you get glimpses of the hurt inside. Michel’s eyes will betray an inner pain we’re all familiar with. Or they will go flat and hard… the eyes of a killer. It’s unnerving so see that expression on such a sweet face. He’s so like Omi in that respect. There’s a whole other person hiding behind the cheerfulness. It’s sad for him to be an assassin so young but in my mind Michel is damaged. This life suits him… just like it suits us all. At this point I can’t see myself as anything else. I’ve even made peace with who I am. I just hope Michel manages to do the same.

He looks up from his book and sees me watching him. A bright smile lights his face.

“Ken how long have you been up? Aya told me to come and keep you company. I would have anyway. Are you hungry? Do you want something to read? Chloe said you could have some more pills if you’re in pain. Do you want some?”

I laugh out loud at his enthusiasm. “I’m fine really. I do need to get up and use the bathroom but I think this time I can get there on my own.”

“Are you sure? You fell earlier…It must have hurt. You really shouldn’t have been trying to take a shower. Not that I saw anything.” A faint blush stains his cheeks. At least I’m not the only one around here who has that problem.

“How about we agree that it never happened? No I shouldn’t have been in the shower. Chloe helped me up and back to bed. That’s all.” I really did want to forget about the whole mess.

“Is that why Chloe was kissing you?” His innocent blue eyes bore into mine. There is a bit of a wicked gleam lurking in the depths. I change my opinion… he is an imp sent to torment me. Now my face is flaming and I stammer a bit.

“Wha…? How did you? When? Michel!” Does everyone know? Perhaps I should pack my bags and move to Tibet. Being a hermit high in a mountain cave sounds pretty appealing right about now.

“I was coming to see how you were. The door was open a bit so I came in. I’m sorry Ken I left right away. But I thought Chloe and Aya were…” I swear for seeming so harmless Michel sees way too much.

“They are.” I really wish he would talk about something else. This is like talking to your kid brother about sex. I’m practically squirming.

“Then why…” I cut him off before he asks me a dozen or so questions I really don’t want to answer.

“I don’t know why. Chloe is playing some kind of game and I really don’t know how I feel about it. Aya knows and I’m so confused. I think I might want them both.” I stop as I realize where my ramblings have taken me.

Why am I talking about this to him? I must be nuts. Plus I’m not even going to think about what I just blurted out. I’m not ready to examine my feelings. If I ignore them perhaps they will just go away? Maybe I’m just horny? God I really need to get laid. Not by my team mates either. No matter what my libido is screaming in my ear.

“Ken it’s alright. Really. I understand more than you think. Tell you what. I’ll get you some lunch and we can forget we ever had this conversation. Yuki wants to visit and he said he would bring his Playstation.”

Grateful for the out he was giving me from what was a really uncomfortable subject I grabbed it. “Thanks Michel. I’d like that.”

The teen got off the bed and before he left the room he turned around to look at me. “Ken I brought up your crutches and they’re next to the bed. Are you sure you don’t need help?”

His concern touches me. Michel is like that. He looks out for us all. Free jokingly calls him little mother. It pisses the chibi off which can be quite amusing to watch a seven foot tall Free back down to the angry young man. It is amazing to me that Michel has forgiven him for killing his parents and when given the chance for revenge he spared Free’s life. It just proves what a complex little person he is.

“I’m fine Michel, go and fix lunch I’m starving. Thanks for looking after me.” He gives me a cheerful smile and scampers out of the room. The chibi is happiest when he’s helping someone.

I halfheartedly flip through a magazine waiting for him to come back. I’m so fucking bored. Although I’m rather proud of myself that, with some help from the crutches Michel left next to the bed, I managed to make it to the bathroom and back. At least this time I didn’t utterly humiliate myself by showing the teen my naked ass. The cuts and bruises are manageable but my leg still hurts and I can’t keep from poking at it. Ok call me a masochist but it looks horrible. One big mass of bruises and I shake my head at the bright blue cast on my ankle. It’s a far cry better than the heavy plaster thing I’d had to suffer though when I was seven. This one hardly weighs anything at all and the doctor said it could come off in a month. Even so it still keeps me in here. I hate being confined. I still ache a lot but I don’t want to take any more of those pills. They knock me too much for a loop. Ibuprofen will have to do till I feel better. The pills are in the medicine cabinet and I really don’t want to get up again. Also I’m starving and the thought of lunch practically has me drooling.

Michel comes back with Yuki in tow. He is carrying a tray loaded with food. He sets it down on the table next to the bed and Yuki sets up the video game. They really intend to keep me occupied. This suits me just fine because I’d rather not think about what happened this morning. On the tray are sandwiches, chips and the all important caffeine in the form of Pepsi. I grab a bag of chips and rip it open. I pop a few in my mouth and chew. I immediately start to cough and barely manage to choke down the mouthful. I look at the bag… prawn cocktail. What the hell? These must be Michel’s he likes the weird flavors.

“Michel what is this crap? Are you trying to poison me?” he looks up at me and grabs the bag.

“Sorry Ken these are mine. I brought this bag for you and Yuki.” I take the bag and read it. Barbeque… a nice normal flavor. I suspiciously grab a sandwich and look inside. Pickles and peanut butter… ewwww what is up with this kid? I stick my tongue out.

“Michel aren’t there any normal sandwiches in here?” I can’t keep the whine out of my voice.

The chibi rolls his eyes and looks at the sandwich in my hand. “That one is Yuki’s. I brought you turkey and mustard. Mine is here, ham and horseradish. Plus I brought biscuits. Choco hoops and shortbread.”

Ugh the kid must have a cast iron stomach. I happily grab one of the edible sandwiches and watch as Yuki and Michel, between bites of their own food, play a racing game. I watch amused as they bitch and moan at each crash. Then shove each other over when the race does not go their way. It’s so hard to believe, when seeing them act like normal teens, that they are assassins. Their friendship got off to a really rocky start, the same as Aya’s and mine did. I found out a little about Yuki from him. The kid practically worships the red head.

Yuki lost so much and was scooped up and brought here without a breath in-between. He stayed by Aya’s side and watched over him as he healed. It’s so nice to see the bookish young man enjoying some of the things normal kids do. Yuki is of Japanese descent but does not remember his parents. Those he called his family were killed in a gang war over some stolen money. That is all Aya has told me other than it was his guardian’s wish that he not kill… Some profession for him to be in then huh? We all watch out for Michel and Yuki. None of us want them to become the embittered assassins that Aya and I are. The young Japanese man getting crumbs all over my bed has yet to directly take a human life. It’s inevitable, but we want to protect him from it as long as we can.

I finish my food and get a game controller thrust into my hands. As I concentrate at not getting splatted all over the countryside Michel informs me that Aya and Chloe are up at the castle in a mission briefing. I guess I’ll have to sit this one out since there is no way in hell I can go out. I suppose it’s only a matter of time before Mihirogi tears me a new one for my stupid accident. It’s going to suck being left here alone while my team goes without me.

We play several more games and eat more than is good for any of us. I feel slightly nauseated from those damned Choco Hoops. They looked good at the time and now Michel is fairly bouncing off the ceiling. We really need to restrict his sugar intake. Yuki is asleep on the bed with a chips wrapper still clutched in his hand. I don’t even want to contemplate how many crumbs are hiding in the duvet.

I’m grateful when Free pokes his head in and notices I’m getting tired and Michel shows no signs of winding down.

“Want me to take them off your hands Ken?” Free has a very deep soothing voice. He rarely has to shout to be heard. He smiles as he watches his young friend bounce around the bed as he beats up the bad guys in the game.

“Please. I’m worn out just from watching him. Yuki dropped off into a sugar induced coma about an hour ago. I need to stretch and take some ibuprofen.” I watch as Free untangles Michel from the game and rouses Yuki. He turns the game off and surveys the mess on the bed.

“Would you like some help cleaning up?” I eagerly nod. The thought of lying in this mess holds no appeal at all. With a word or two Free enlists the help of the two young men and soon the mess is cleared away and the crumbs are swept up.

“Oh and Aya should be up soon. He said something about checking on you.” Oh great. I want to see him. But I also want to hide under the covers like a coward.

I need to talk to him though before the mission. I have to settle what is going on between us. There is always the possibility that one of us will not come back from our missions and I don’t want him to leave before I have that chance.

“Thanks Free. I really appreciate the help. Plus the company was nice guys. Come see me before you leave ok?” I get a hug from Michel and Yuki smiles slightly and nods his head. Then Free shoos them out of the room. Damn I forgot to ask for Michel to get me the painkillers out of the bathroom. I sigh and throw back the covers and reach for the crutches. The second trip on them is not as painful as I thought it would be. But by the time I get back to the bed I am glad to sink into its warmth. I manage to get comfortable when the door opens.


	7. Taking the Plunge

Aya is standing in the doorway. He looks good enough to take my breath away. His hair is braided into a short tail down his back and wispy bangs frame his face. I’m glad he decided to let it grow out a little. He’s wearing faded blue jeans and a black button up shirt. I repress the sudden urge to place my hands inside the opened collar. I clear my throat nervously as he comes into the room shutting the door behind him. I want to scoot away as he sits on the edge of the bed.

“How are you feeling Ken?” His amethyst eyes capture mine and his smooth deep voice sends a shiver down my spine.

“I feel better. At least I can get to the bathroom on my own.”

Aya lips quirk up in a smile. “I heard about your earlier mishap. It’s a wonder you didn’t hurt yourself again. I also understand Michel got quite a show.”

Now I’m blushing…again. Damn it! I really wish that traitor Chloe hadn’t told the whole freaking house.

“Oh rub it in why don’t you. I suppose Chloe got a good laugh out of it.” I’m starting to get pissed about the whole mess. Not a good sign.

“Actually he thinks you’re rather cute.” His hand reaches out to brush the hair away from my eyes. “So do I.”

I jerk back out of his reach.

“Why Aya? What’s this game you’re playing? It’s not the least bit funny and I’m not laughing. Did Chloe put you up to this?” I need to get to the bottom of just what the hell is going on.

Aya sighs and closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again he looks so sad. “I want you Ken. I have for a while.”

His answer does nothing to dispel my confusion. “Why do you want me when you have Chloe?”

“I’m not sure I can answer that since I don’t know the reason myself. I love Chloe and he loves me in return. But he wasn’t there Ken. He didn’t go through all the things we did. I watch you and you seem so sad and alone. It’s not fair…”

Aya reaches out for me again and despite the pain in my leg I retreat across the bed. The covers fall away and I don’t even care that I’m clad only in my briefs and a t-shirt. His confession also makes me angry.

“I don’t need your pity Aya! Just leave me alone!”

“I know you have feelings for me Ken. You told me last night before you went to sleep.” Oh God it wasn’t a dream… I thought…fuck what a mess. I told Aya I loved him.

“Do you Ken?” His soft voice prompts me.

I cover my face with my hands. I can’t deal with this right now. I can’t even look at him.

“Aya just go. Leave me alone please.”

He’s insistent and asks again. Damn Aya for being stubborn.

“Yes.” I whisper. I just can’t hide what I feel anymore. Not when I know he’s staring at me.

“How long?”

I drop back down on the bed and place my arm over my eyes. I really can’t handle this right now.

“I think… I think it was at the gazebo when I wanted you to leave with me. Omi was so cold to us all and it hurt so fucking much to see him again. You were the only one that seemed to care if we all made it through or not. God knows Yohji didn’t care if he lived or died. I thought it was just a fluke, just you being kind to me. But when you came here and I saw you again. The feelings were still there.” I really wish he would leave I’m so embarrassed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Oh yeah right that would have gone over well.

“I couldn’t. You made it quite clear at the airport that you were finished with me… with Weiss. Then Chloe came along and swept you off of your feet. I never had a chance.” I let out a long shaky breath.

Aya’s sigh echoes my own. “Ken I had to leave. I had to get away. I was so messed up. You even more so. It never would have worked then. We both had to get straightened out.”

“Well at least Omi didn’t put you in a fucking prison!” I can’t help but snap at him. That time in my life was full of bitter memories. Even though the counseling I got helped to heal me.

“Was it very bad?” Aya voice is hesitant now. Almost as if he is blaming himself for the mess I got into.

“Oh not too bad… that is until after several of the inmates quit tying to make me their girlfriend. I had to break one persistent asshole’s arm. I hated being locked up. Not being able to go where I wanted.” Heavy sarcasm laces my voice.

“Ken I’m so sorry I never meant for you to go through that. I should have stayed. You should not have been alone. Did Omi even come see you?” I can hear the genuine regret in his voice and the anger drains right out of me. Leaving me tired.

“Not once… but Aya it’s in the past. I learned how to deal with it. Yes I still get angry about the whole thing but I’ll get over it. Some days it just hits me harder than others. You have to understand I was really fucked up. I liked killing… It gave me such a rush. Now it’s just a job. I don’t crave it anymore, the blood and the screams. I dealt… I moved on. I’ll get over you too… I just need time.”

“Ken I never meant to leave you like that. If I had not been so wrapped up in my own problems… I should have been there for you.” I really don’t want Aya to blame himself for my fucked up life.

“Aya please it’s not your fault. Just forget about me… get over it. I want us to just be friends again.” I really want to be alone so I can curl up under the covers for a while and make the world go away.

“I don’t want to get over it! Who says I have to care for only one person? Yes I feel guilty over what happened. But that has no connection to how I feel about you now. I don’t know why my feelings changed. Perhaps I always wanted you a little bit. God knows Omi and Yohji were not good for us. Maybe if we’d been together then things would have turned out differently. But I don’t care about that now. I know I want you.” He’s still upset. I can hear it in his voice.

“But what about Chloe? Aya maybe you are attracted to me somehow but we can’t.” I will not give in. Aya doesn’t need me. The man he does need is probably right down the hall.

“Ken… Chloe is the one who suggested I go to you. He suggested that WE… go to you. I don’t want to give him up but maybe there is room for you with us. Chloe came to you first. He wanted to see how you would react to him. He admires you Ken. Your strength and devotion to us all. Even your beauty.”

Unbelievable… me beautiful? Give me a break. I can’t help it I start to laugh, though there is little humor in it.

“Yeah right Aya. If there’s one thing I’m not and that’s blind. I can understand you thinking that way about me if only out of some sense of pity. But Chloe? I’m sure he’s just humoring you.” Aya’s eyes narrow. Finally I succeed in making him mad. Now maybe he’ll leave me the hell alone.

“Ken, don’t be a idiot. I know what I feel. I know what Chloe feels. You know me… would I try and hurt you on purpose?”

Well I can be angry right back. I sit up and glare at the cause of my frustration.

“Oh so now I’m an idiot. Or is that what you always thought about me? As for hurting me on purpose… I don’t know Aya you’ve done it before. Why should now be any different?” I see Aya’s fists clench and wonder if he’s going to hit me.

“Ahhh… God you are so stubborn. I never meant to hurt you. Ken I care about you, Chloe cares about you. Maybe not in the same way I do but perhaps he will. I do know he wants you and that’s enough for now.” Aya slumps a bit and shakes his head. “Just tell me to go and I will. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t care about me. If you can do that I’ll leave. Then when we get back from the mission I promise not to bother you anymore.”

His violet eyes pierce me with their intensity. I can’t look away.

“Aya… I …I don’t.” I can’t lie to him. Damn me but I can’t lie. I look down at the bed covers. “This will never work out. It’s all too weird. The three of us together? How can I possibly compete with the two of you?” I’m stunned and my stomach is doing flip flops that have nothing to do with the chocolate I had earlier.

“Ken have you looked in a mirror recently?” Aya sits closer to me and I get the funny feeling I should be backing away.

“Yeah every morning. Lately though with all the bruises I’m surprised I don’t scare everyone off.” I don’t flinch this time when Aya reaches out to touch me. His fingers trace my nose and across my cheek to the bruises that are decorating the side of my face.

“Ken… You don’t scare me. I want to touch you. I want to show you how I feel. I want to show you how attractive I think you are.” Aya’s voice is like silk and I want to lean into his caress. I forget how to breathe when his hands lightly rest on my shoulders and he lowers his head. I lick my lips nervously.

I can’t help it. I have to close my eyes. I don’t want to see Aya’s face. His expression is too intense and I don’t know how to deal with it. I feel his hand cup my chin and the first brush of his lips on mine make me shudder. He shifts closer to me and I can feel the heat of his body. I’m at a loss as to what to do. I’ve wanted this for so long that I’m afraid of doing the wrong thing.

Aya’s tongue brushes across my lips and I willingly part them. I groan as his hands slide down my back to rest on my hips. His mouth on mine is not harsh and demanding. He kisses with a gentleness I would not have expected from him. Aya is being careful not to hurt me as I’m pulled closer. I’m still not sure this is such a good idea but all thoughts of protest flee as his warm hands find the edge of my T-shirt and push it upward. He breaks off the kiss and I sit there gasping.

“Ken open your eyes.” His voice is so soft and up until now I have only heard him use that tone when speaking to Chloe. I’m helpless to resist. His fingers caress the skin on the sides of my chest and I bite my lip nervously. I look at him and get lost in the depths of those amethyst pools.

“I want to touch you. I want to get to know you. Will you let me?” A dozen reasons why I shouldn’t spring to mind though I hesitate to voice any of them. In the end I simply nod. I give in… I just don’t have the strength to push him away.

Aya simply smiles at me as his fingers grip the hem of my shirt. He pulls it over my head and tosses it to the floor. I want to shrink away from his gaze as he looks at me. I choose instead to look at my lap. This is a mistake since even that one kiss has an obvious effect on me. My hands cover my lap. I know I’m not some blushing virgin but I may as well be since this is Aya we’re talking about. My confidence has fled. My sex life has not been a parade of partners. I can count them on one hand and not even get to five. I don’t know what to expect.

“Aya wait. I… I’m not sure about this.” It’s stupid of me to keep hesitating but I’m out of my depth and sinking fast.

“Ken it’s alright. This is what I want to happen. You really have no idea how attractive you are. Chloe was right. Just relax… enjoy it.” Those last words were whispered in my ear and I nearly jump out of my skin as Aya’s hand covers mine and presses lightly. Considering where my hands are this causes me to suck in a harsh breath.

He keeps that hand there as his other one grips my shoulder. Aya does not kiss me on the mouth again but instead blows gently in my ear before taking the lobe in his mouth and sucking. I can’t help it this time as I shudder and moan his name. His mouth moves down my neck and oh god he bites the place where my shoulder begins. It hurts slightly but is not unpleasant. He raises his head and nips my chin.

“Lie back Ken… Just feel what I’m doing. Give yourself to me.” His voice is rough and low as it flows over me. I’m helpless to resist and lie back on the soft bed. He’s looking at me again and I feel oddly vulnerable.

“Aya… I…” I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say. If I want to beg him to stop or plead with him to continue. If I’m this worked up over a few kisses touching anything else might kill me.

“Shhhh… just relax.” As if that is even remotely possible when he leans over and places an open mouthed kiss in the center of my chest. His hands stroke my abdomen causing the skin to quiver. When they graze my nipples I arch off the bed. Omi used to do that and it drove me wild. I can’t think of him now. He has nothing to do with this and perhaps it will help me to let go.

“So sensitive… Ken. I’m going to enjoy this.” This is an understatement when his mouth closes over one copper colored disc. He bites gently and laves the area with his tongue. He flicks my other nipple with his fingers till it is drawn up and aching as fiercely as the other.

“Aya… god. Don’t stop.” I gasp out as he alternates between the distended buds. I’m hard and really don’t know how long I’ll last. I swear I could come from just this alone.

As if sensing how much this is affecting me Aya leaves my nipples to move downward. His tongue wetly traces each corded muscle.

I do have to admit to being rather proud of my body. It’s a bitch to maintain with the running I do plus the weight training. But my weapon and fighting style demand I be in peak physical condition. Where Aya and Chloe are tall and leanly muscular I’m shorter, heavier and more compactly defined.

Aya shows his admiration of my body by exploring every inch of my torso. Those low appreciative noises he makes are almost sexier than I can bear. The fact that he’s making them for me is nearly as mind blowing as the experience itself. By the time he lifts his head again I am squirming under him and gasping for air. My hands are fisted in the covers and a there is a small wet spot in the front of my briefs. His eyes lock onto mine as his fingers curl into the waistband of my only remaining garment. I freeze as he slowly peels the cotton off of me. Easing them down over the brace before sending them to join my shirt on the floor.

Aya is so careful of my injuries. He sits on the edge of the bed as he looks down at me. I want nothing else than to feel his solid weight on top of me but my leg will not be healed enough to do that for a while. I lay totally naked and exposed. New worries crop up as he just looks at me. Am I appealing? Do I measure up to his expectations? Plus he is still fully dressed. This makes me feel oddly exposed but maddeningly aroused at the same time. I do not have long to wonder what he has in mind though. Aya kneels on the bed and captures my mouth in another kiss. This time I respond eagerly and thrust my tongue against his. I can’t resist and my hands come up to twine in his glorious hair. It’s as soft as I imagined it would be. He drinks in all my moans as his hands stroke my skin. Lower and lower till he is right above my aching cock. I break off the kiss and stammer.

“Aya… ahh… wait.” His fingers thread through the crisp brown hair encircling my arousal. “It’s been a while… ahh… I don’t know how long...”

He murmurs against my neck. “Let it happen then… don’t fight it Ken.”

I want it to last though. I’m still afraid this is a dream and I’ll wake up alone again. I bite my lip as his hand slides up to feel the wetness leaking from the tip. How I miss this. Being intimate with someone is a hell of a lot better than jacking off alone. There’s no comparison when it’s someone you care about.

He strokes me and I try and keep from shouting. His hand is firmly moving up and down my shaft and his thumb brushes the tip.

“Let me hear you Ken.” I moan loudly as his tongue dips into my bellybutton. “That’s it, show me you like this.”

He licks the crease where the top of my thighs meets my groin and I cry out his name. I can feel him smile against my skin before moving to the thin line of mahogany hair that circles my navel. He places a kiss every few inches till his mouth is right next to his stroking hand. I know what he is about to do and I tense in anticipation. Aya spares a moment to look up at me. The lazy half smile he shoots in my direction is almost enough to make me melt. I never in a million years thought he would look at me like that.

I’m totally unprepared when he takes his first taste. A long slow lick from root to tip that nearly has me catapult off the bed. It’s only his hands on my hips gripping me tightly that keeps me still and from possibly hurting myself.

“Aya… Aya…” I moan over and over. It takes my befuddled brain a moment to realize that he has stopped again and has raised his head slightly.

“Ran… call me Ran.” He says softly.

“Huh? What?” I am still struggling to think coherently.

“In here. When it is just us call me Ran. I want this to be special, to mean something. To be separate from what we do out of this room.” It touches me that he would allow me to use the name he carried before Weiss. That more than anything else he has done convinces me that perhaps he does have feelings for me.

I cup his face in my hand and smile.

“Ran…” I try it out and like the way it sounds. I imagine Aya likes it too because he takes the head of my cock in his mouth and sucks.

It’s almost my undoing. Only through fierce determination do I keep from coming. His tongue circles the sensitive skin and dips into the slit and I cry out again. I’m too far gone to care if anyone hears us. My hand slides up into his hair and rests there as he lowers his head. I just manage not to grip and pull as I watch his mouth descend on me. The sensation is overwhelming. Warm, wet and soft with blissful pressure and slight suction. And one I have not felt in over two years.

One hand pins me to the mattress while the other cups my balls. Aya kneads gently as his head bobs up and down and I see stars. Heat is spiraling through me and I tremble with the reaction of what he is doing to me. I’m drowning and really don’t want to come up for air.

I’m moaning, near sobbing and calling his name. I throw my head back on the pillows as a saliva wet finger slips behind my balls and presses gently against me. Too much… it’s too much. He pushes his finger inside and there is no turning back now. Heat gathers, pools, and spreads. I desperately want to thrust into his mouth. I am so close… so fucking close.

“Ran…Ran… I’m going to… oh god…Ahh…ahh yes.” I can’t take it. I can’t hold back. I half expect him to pull off of me and finish with his hand.

He doesn’t and I come apart. Aya lets go of my hips and I thrust helplessly into his mouth. His throat works around my spasming length and I can see him swallow repeatedly. That image is burned indelibly into my brain and one I will remember for a very long time.

He continues to lave my softening cock as I shake with the aftershocks of my orgasm. When his stroking tongue becomes just short of painful, he releases me with a soft pop. His lips are glistening with the evidence of my release and a small amount trickles down his chin. He lightly strokes my spent length till I all but whimper. A noise from across the room gets both of our attention.

“What a pretty picture the both of you make. Ken, I told you not long ago that your moan is so very sexy. I can’t wait till you make those sounds for me.” My eyes widen and I turn my head. Chloe is in the room sitting in one of the chairs that flank the door. Which thank goodness is closed.

Here I am on the bed, a wrecked debauched mess, and as Chloe uncoils from the chair and walks over. I have the sudden urge to cover myself. I watch breathlessly as he leans over and licks the milky fluid from Aya’s chin before capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. They are so close I can see Chloe’s tongue tangle with Aya’s as he angles his head to probe more deeply. If I was not so wrung out and more than a bit sore that show alone would have gotten me hard again. Especially since I realize that Chloe is tasting me through Aya.

The blond breaks off the kiss and smirks at me as his pale eyes roam my body.

“You Ken are fucking hot. I want to pin you to the mattress and shove myself into your body till you scream my name.” It startles me to hear words like that from his mouth. Usually he’s much more refined. Oh god it’s so sexy to hear him say them. He leans over me as Aya strokes his hair. “You taste delicious.”

I haven’t time to even draw breath before he is kissing me, every bit as amorously as he kissed his other lover. It’s a day for firsts… Aya giving me one mind melting blow job and now Chloe trying to swallow my tonsils. That I even think of them as my lovers is astonishing enough. His kiss is rough and possessive. Chloe nips at the corner of my mouth and grabs my lower lip between his teeth and pulls slightly. His hands hold me in place and he kneels on the bed beside Aya.

Chloe gasps and pulls away nuzzling my neck. The reason for his gasp becomes apparent. Aya’s hands are inside his slacks giving him the same treatment he gave me. With each stoke of Aya’s hand Chloe bites and sucks on my neck. His hot breath pants in my ear as Aya brings him closer to the edge. He must have gotten hard watching us and judging by the way he is writhing against me it will not be much longer.

I can’t help myself. I want to touch him too. My hands slide inside his silk shirt to roam his smooth chest. Chloe whispers his appreciation to the both of us as I pinch his nipples and Aya’s talented stroking drives him wild. True to my estimation Chloe stiffens against me and bites hard on my neck causing me to gasp in surprise. It will leave one hell of a mark but I don’t mind. The thought of wearing such a possessive brand makes me feel wanted. The blond in my arms collapses against me and puts too much pressure on my leg.

“Ah… Chloe… Not the leg. Move please.” He blinks a few times and sits up. I breathe a sigh of relief as the pain starts to ebb. Any reawakening arousal on my part flags quickly in the wake of the pain in my leg.

“Sorry Ken-Ken. I did not mean to hurt you.” He kisses my sweetly on the lips and settles back in Aya’s arms. I really love that I picked out a huge bed.

Aya kisses Chloe also and removes his hands from his pants. His fingers are sticky with Chloe’s seed. With an impish smile Chloe takes Aya’s wrist and offers his fingers to me. Without hesitation I take them into my mouth. The liquid on my tongue is slightly bitter and just a bit salty. They both watch me as I clean every trace of his release from Aya’s fingers. His other hand grips Chloe’s tightly as he enjoys what I’m doing. Aya has not come yet and I wonder if I should offer. He slowly pulls his fingers from my mouth and leans in to kiss me. The moment is ruined when I lean back and yawn. I’m freaking tired from everything that has happened. Both emotionally and physically. Chloe and Aya chuckle indulgently.

“You need to rest and we need to pack for our mission.” Aya untwines himself from Chloe and gets off the bed. I can see the rather large bulge in the front of his trousers.

“But Ran what about you? Don’t you want me to?” He places two fingers against my lips.

“I’m fine Ken. This was all for you. I’ll survive. I wanted to give you a taste of something to look forward to while we are gone. Now do you believe we want you?” He steps back and holds a hand out for Chloe.

“Yes I do… but it still freaks me out.” I yawn again and shiver a little in the chill room.

“We’ll figure it all out later. I agree with Aya you need rest and we need to get ready to leave.” Chloe takes a moment to straighten his clothes and looks down at the wet spot on the front of his linen slacks. I smile… it’s unusual to see him in such a state. He looks right at me.

“You’ll owe for the dry cleaning.” He says as he leans in to place a kiss on my forehead.

“Me? Why me?” I yelp.

“It’s your fault I got into this state to begin with.” It seems I can’t get enough of his teasing grin. He looks behind him at Aya. “Ran, you told him to call you Ran?” Chloe’s soft affectionate voice makes my chest ache a bit.

Aya nods and I can’t help adding. “Does that mean I can call you Edward?” Chloe gasps and turns back to me.

“Who told you?” He is frowning slightly and I wonder if I’ve made a mistake.

“Um… Yuki did. I’m sorry Chloe I didn’t mean anything by it.” Great just 30 minutes into a new relationship and I screw up.

Chloe must have noticed the alarmed look on my face. “Ken it’s alright. You didn’t do anything wrong I just detest that name. Though if you call me it again I might have to kill you.” His bright smile lets me know he is not even remotely serious.

“We really do have to go Mihirogi will be here soon to pick us up.” Already? I really didn’t want them to leave.

“How long will you be gone?” I hope the mission ends quickly and neither of them get hurt.

“Not more than a month. Yuki is helping with surveillance and then Aya and I have to infiltrate the target’s inner circle.” Chloe sees that I’m cold and walks to my dresser and rummages till he finds some dark grey sweats.

Both of them help me dress and a few more kisses are exchanged before I’m tucked back into bed. I now find the attention endearing and not patronizing. I’m still not convinced this is the best thing for any of us but I’m so tired of being alone. Aya brings me three ibuprofen and a glass of water. I take the pills and settle into the rapidly warming bed. It smells like Aya and Chloe which makes me want to burrow deeper. I yawn again as they kiss me one more time. As they leave I ask them to see me right before they go so I can say goodbye. I’m reassured by their assent and then I’m alone.

I can’t help but wonder what a month’s absence will do to this budding relationship which is, in my mind, extremely fragile.

Will they regret what happened? Will I?


	8. What the hell do I do now?

The next time I wake, this is actually becoming an unpleasant habit, the room is dark and I can hear no noises as I lay still and listen. I glance over at the bedside clock and the red digital numbers tell me it’s three AM. Wonderful and I’m wide awake. This is the worst part of being sick or injured. My internal clock is all screwed up and I really don’t want to lie here and think about the odd turn my life has taken lately. I need to get up and move. My muscles have stiffened up a bit and I’m beyond tired of being in bed.

I throw back the covers and reach for my crutches. It’s easier to get to my feet than the last time I tried this. After a quick stop at the bathroom I decide to try and get to the kitchen. Something hot to drink would ward off the chill and give me something to do. I never liked being alone and the house is too quiet. I pause at the top of the steps and look down. Ok I can do this I’m a trained athlete for god sake. Besides if I trip here I’ll probably break my neck. Slow and easy I navigate the stairs. One step at a time and I wince and curse a bit every time I hit one of the bruises or jar my ankle. I really wish I’d grabbed some aspirin or something by the time I get to the bottom.

Limping more and leaning harder on the crutches then when I started I make my way to the kitchen. No surprise that it’s dark here too. There’s a little light on over the stove and that’s all I really need to see by. The others are quite amused that I love to cook. Although they never complain at dinner time. So I really don’t need that much light since I know what’s in every cupboard. Heck if it wasn’t for my new hobby Aya would not get any traditional Japanese food at all. He still loves his Miso soup and rice for breakfast. Chloe turns pale at the sight of squid so I try and make it as often as possible. Yuki has also developed a taste for this type of food. Whether it’s a true liking or an effort to emulate Aya I have no idea. Michel will eat nearly anything put in front of him and Free says that he will try anything at least once.

Aw man I had to think about them. Hell has frozen over since I actually miss the snooty blond. Aya... well it’s a given that I miss him too. I don’t feel right when my old team mate is not around. He’s an important link to my past and it doesn’t feel like home without him here. I want them back yet dread their return. This afternoon was so freaking intense that I feel my body respond as I recall what the three of us did together. I really don’t need a hard on in the kitchen so I do my best to ignore it and get a tin of tea out of the cabinet.

“You’re up late or early as the case may be.”

I swear the kitchen was empty when I walked in. The tea canister goes flying as I let out an undignified squawk. The tin hits the edge of the counter and of course opens spilling the contents.

“Free! Warn a guy! I about had a heart attack!” I turn around and he’s sitting at the table way back in the corner. There is a plate of cookies and a mug off to one side and an ever present Tarot array taking up most of the space in front of the tall assassin.

Of all the people in the house I know the least about Free. First of all his name is unusual enough to make a person pause and wonder if there is a story behind it. Free guards his past more fiercely than even Chloe. He’s also unusual looking. I don’t mean he’s ugly but striking is a good description. Free is very tall and muscular and moves with a grace that belies his size. Also the man rarely makes any noise at all when he moves… perfect for an assassin but he’s startled me on more than one occasion. I think he plans it that way. His untidy shock of silver hair frames an angular face and his eyes are an unnerving shade of silvery blue. He has this way of looking at you that makes you think he’s peering into your soul. Then adorning his cheeks are tattoos. Three black wavy lines per cheek reminiscent of tiger stripes and a red diamond shape in the middle of his forehead. What these markings signify I have no idea and Free is not volunteering an explanation.

I swear to god his ears are slightly pointed too. Like I said he’s unusual looking almost as if he does not belong here… he has an other-worldly air about him. He also favors crystals and jewelry made from natural objects like feathers and braided leather. Then there is his uncanny ability to read those damned cards. Only when he does the information he gives you is a bit on the vague side. If I were to hazard a guess I’d say that he has a touch of the power that Crawford claimed. I shiver a bit at the thought of our old enemies. It seems that the leader of Schwarz and his pet telepath disappeared after they helped us defeat epitaph. Nagi… I know where he is. The telekinetic brat is shacking up with my old lover. Bitter me? Yeah well how can you blame me? But then the Omi I once knew does not exist anymore. Aya still talks to him every once in a while but I really have nothing to say to the man.

So here at three in the morning I’m standing in a dark kitchen, spilled tea everywhere being stared at by a candidate for the x-files. I like Free I really do and trust him with my life but that doesn’t mean I understand him at all. I think if I tried it would cause a headache of massive proportions.

“How are you feeling Ken?” Free’s soft low voice is oddly fitting for the darkness of the room.

“Other than like a clumsy idiot I’m fine I guess.” Now that is an understatement. Thoroughly confused at the turn my life is taking is a more apt description.

I lean over to try and clean up the tea. I overbalance on the crutches and almost end up on my ass. I make a grab for the edge of the counter and the crutches slip to the floor. I wince as the silence of the kitchen is pierced by a sharp clatter.

“Sorry… damned leg.” I mumble and roll my eyes.

“Would you like some help?” Free asks as he gets up from the table. It still surprises me how tall he is. At nearly seven feet he towers over me. He takes my arm and guides me to a chair and picks up the crutches. They get leaned in the corner and I watch as Free gets a small broom and sweeps up the mess I made.

“Thanks I’m still not too steady on those damned crutches. How come you’re sitting in the kitchen at 3 am? I thought you had a mission?” I stretch my leg out in front of me to ease the ache a bit. I smile at Free when he pulls the other chair out and gently props my leg on the seat.

“I could ask you the same question since you are up also. As for me I actually don’t sleep that much. I enjoy the quiet and it turns out that Michel and I are not needed this time. Our talents would not have suited the nature of the mission.” Actually it comes as no surprise that he has trouble sleeping. I think we all suffer from that particular side effect of the life we lead.

“I hate being injured. The medicine and the aches and pains from my stupid accident woke me up. I really didn’t want to be in bed any longer. Besides I have too much on my mind and if I went back to bed I’d only lay there staring at the ceiling.”

Finished with his task Free sets the kettle on the stove to heat the water for the tea I came down here to get. He rummages in the cabinet and pulls out a tin of peppermint flavored tea. Another of my favorites. Soon the kitchen fills with the aromatic scent of the leaves and a steaming mug is set in front of me along with a bottle of honey. It amuses me that Free knows my preferences. He pours himself a mug and sits back down. Free gathers up his cards and idly shuffles the deck before starting a new array.

“Would you care to talk about what’s bothering you?” the man’s voice is soothing somehow.

I pick up the thick pottery mug enjoying the warmth. It is just barely the beginning of October but the drizzle and grey clouded skies make it feel more like the start of winter. I take a sip mindful of the scalding liquid. I really don’t want to talk about my situation but I was never any good at keeping things to myself. Unlike Aya who you need a crowbar to pry his troubles from him.

“I’m just… well unsettled I suppose. Or maybe freaked out is a better word. So how much do you know about what is going on?” I look across the table.

He has a new tarot layout spread in front of him and is staring at it intently. I have no clue what the cards mean or what he is thinking.

“Well I know that Aya has feelings for you that run deeper than friendship. I think it’s as surprising to him as it is for you. I also know that Chloe shares some of that interest. He has been a bit blatant in his pursuit of you. I guess the dilemma would be what you feel for them?” Free flipped over another card and frowned.

“Did the cards tell you all that?” I’m not sure I’m comfortable with him using his mojo on me.

Free glances up and actually smiles. He’s really not bad looking when he smiles.

“Actually Michel told me. He makes an excellent little spy and knows everything that goes on around here. Michel was quite surprised to see Chloe and you… ah getting to know each other better in the green house the other day.”

I flush crimson at his words. Michel was there? When… how? He must have come in when we were too busy to notice. Damn… the little chibi is a voyeur. “Well um… Chloe surprised me and I’m afraid I did not react very well.”

“So again how do you feel about Aya and Chloe?” Free gazes at me with that know it all stare and I feel like a bug under a magnifying glass.

I set the mug down harder on the table than I intend and tea sloshes over the rim. “I don’t know! This is such a fucked up mess.” I run my hands though my already sleep tousled hair.

“Logic tells you that it cannot possibly work out. It’s an unconventional arrangement yes. But we cannot always choose who we fall in love with or how proper that love may be.” Free sighs and actually looks a little sad. I wonder if he’s talking about me at all.

“I don’t know if I can deal with this. What will everyone think?” This conversation is not helping to calm me at all. I ache as my muscles go all tense and I feel the beginnings of a headache.

Free just sits there like some wise Buddha waiting for my reply. I feel a bit angry with myself for losing my temper. I don’t like stress… I never have. Hell of a job to be in then huh? This situation with Aya and Chloe just makes my life a whole lot more complicated. Now where were we? Ah yes the mystic sitting across from me asks how I feel. Fuck if I know.

“You want to know what I think of this whole mess? I haven’t a clue.” I try to ignore the puddle of tea on the table and pick the mug back up to keep from tearing my hair out by the roots.

“You are thinking too much Ken.” Free calmly replies as he once more scoops the cards up with practiced ease.

I can’t help myself… I burst out laughing. “Now that’s the one thing I’ve never been accused of. Thinking too much? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“At the risk of sounding clichéd forget what your head is telling you. What does your heart say?” Free is right he does sound like a line out of some romance novel.

I take a deep breath. I know what my heart wants I just can’t convince myself. “Dammit I love Aya. I have for years. Chloe… well I’m fond of him. He has let me see a new side of himself and I admit to wanting more. Being with Aya is something I thought I would never have. But… this is too weird. It will never work out. Everyone will think…”

Free surprises the hell out of me by slamming the cards down on the table so hard they scatter. “Fuck what everyone else thinks Ken! You have a chance at happiness. Even if it is fleeting you can’t afford to pass it up. Some of us are not that lucky. Don’t throw it away.” There is real bitterness in his voice and more than a bit of anger.

I wonder what it would take to make the man in front of me happy. I can see the misery in his eyes for a moment before it’s gone. The placid expression is back and he gathers the scattered tarot deck and shuffles it before placing it in a velvet bag.

“What if Aya and Chloe don’t want me anymore when they get back?”

“What if they do?”

“What if I can’t handle it?”

“What if you can?”

“What if… ” Free cuts me off before I can make another excuse.

“Ken stop. You have a whole month to sort out your feelings. But you would be an utter fool to refuse what they are eager to give you. A cure for loneliness should be viewed as a precious gift. Not as the insurmountable obstacle that you are making it into.” The wistful note is back in his voice.

I always thought Free was content to be alone. Perhaps I’m wrong… perhaps we all are.

“I have a lot of thinking to do but you’re right. I’d be an idiot to push them away. That’s if they still want me.” God I hate how pathetic I sound. But I’ve had my happiness ripped away too many times in the past to be able to just reach out and grasp what has been offered. One part of me still wonders if it’s all some cruel joke. “Fuck my head hurts.” I place the heels of my hands against my forehead.

Free gets to his feet and moves behind my chair. I’m a bit nervous when he places his hands on my shoulders. “I might be able to help that. May I?”

I think I’ll drop dead right on the spot if Free is making a pass at me. My life is too weird already. “Wha… What?”

“Your headache Ken I can help.” He actually chuckles when he feels the tenseness in my body. “Your virtue is safe with me. Just a simple scalp massage is all I am offering.”

I flush bright red and shake my head. How the heck did he know what I was thinking? “Sure knock yourself out. Anything would be welcome at this point.”

“Try and relax.” His voice really is nice. Lulling and somewhat calming.

I sit back a bit in the chair and close my eyes as his hands slide into my hair. After five minutes under his talented hands I’m almost purring. His long fingers rub my temples and I feel the headache recede. I’m in utter bliss and drop my head forward as he begins to rub my neck. I could get used to this although it makes me a bit sad when I wonder if Free has anyone to do this for him. As his hands linger on my shoulders and his thumbs dig into the knots he finds I feel my tight muscles finally relax.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I know his voice is telling me I should go back to bed. I raise my head and rotate my neck. It’s wonderfully loose and I let out a huge yawn.

“Sorry… I’m really tired all of a sudden.” I turn in the chair and fumble for my crutches.

“Here let me help you upstairs. I’ll send Michel up with your crutches later on this morning. Sleep in you need to give your body a chance to heal.” He offers his hands.

I grasp them and I’m carefully pulled to my feet. One arm wraps around my waist as he helps me out of the kitchen. He smells nice, kind of spicy. It’s from the incense he likes to burn in his room. Sandalwood and cloves make a pleasant combination. Free’s tall frame hides a lot of strength. I feel his muscles bunch as I’m helped up the steps. He guides me all the way to my room and waits till I’m settled in bed before he leaves. Free pauses at the door.

“Ken remember a wise man does not throw away what is freely offered.” He closes the door and I’m left alone.

My bed is soft and warm and I succumb to the lure of sleep instead of mulling over my life yet again at the risk of my headache returning. After all I have a whole month to obsess over my would be lovers.

~*~

Two weeks… it has been two whole weeks since Aya and Chloe had left on their mission. I can’t believe how slowly the days have gone by. I have to give Michel credit though he’s seen to it that I’m not bored. This added attention usually starts at dawn. Usually he’s taken to waking me up by bouncing on my bed. To see a seventeen year old teen bouncing around like a hyperactive toddler is not my most favorite way to get up in the morning.

I think it’s time to cut back on the sweets. But then who am I to judge? I’m just as addicted to sugar but the sight of the blond chibi with a bowl of cocoa puffs drenched in chocolate milk is enough to give me tooth decay. As if that’s not bad enough he even dips his powdered donuts into the leftover sludge after the cereal is gone. Then as a grand finale he picks up the bowl and slurps out the last of the liquid. It’s like watching a train wreck… you can’t turn away. But the part that actually makes me shudder is the grapefruit juice he washes it all down with. I’ve made it a point lately to cook the chibi breakfast. That way I know he’ll at least get some nutrients.

This morning is no different…my blond alarm clock shows up as usual and I am glad of the thick comforter on the bed. It hides my rather embarrassing condition quite well. My dreams lately have featured two participants instead of the one delectable red head. Chloe and Aya have permeated my sleep and made me ache for their touch nearly every damned morning. It’s not fair… how am I supposed to sort out my feelings when my libido is shouting loud enough to drown out my common sense?

Considering my lack of privacy lately, I swear that blond menace can get through any locked door. I’ve taken to appeasing my traitorous body during my morning shower. It just would not do for me to go to work with a raging hard on… I might scare the little old ladies. I think I’ve wanked off in the shower so much lately that I’ve turned it into an art form. My mind might not know what the hell to do about my would be love triangle but my body is ready, willing and able.

In addition to Michel’s attention Free has decided to make me his own personal charity case. He’s been going out of his way to spend time with me. I’m still snickering since I learned one of his guilty little secrets. The silver haired assassin is absolutely addicted to British comedies… the raunchier the better. So a few of our evenings have been spent in front of the TV. Free and I on the couch and Michel lying on a large cushion on the floor. It’s been homey and nice with the three of us sharing popcorn while we watch the antics on the screen.

It’s touching really that Free and Michel have conspired to keep me company. Plus the added help while my leg heals is very welcome. After breakfast this morning I limp to the shop and ensconce myself behind the cash register. I knew if I try to lift any of the displays or move any of the large potted plants I’ll get disapproving stares from my two watch dogs. I’m relegated to counter duty and it’s driving me nuts. I’m not one to sit idle for long. I miss my early morning jogs and the physical labor needed to run a thriving flower shop. More importantly I miss training. It’s vital for me to stay in shape and this forced inactivity is beyond boring. Although my mother hens do allow me work out with my weights they still keep a close eye on me to make sure I don’t over do it.

Our regular customers, when they found out I wrecked my bike, all came round to see how I was doing. I got plates of cookies and home made cakes from the older ladies and was fawned over by the younger girls. While not as popular as Aya and Chloe I did have a few fans… now that brought back memories. Thinking about the Koneko and Japan is still painful for me so I tend to push those memories away as quick as they surface. Yes denial is not only a river in Egypt.

Arrgghh… My leg is itching again. I want to dig into the stitches and scratch. The cast on my ankle is bothering me too and I hate the brace on my knee. I know better than to give in to the urge to rake bloody furrows in my skin. One of my two nursemaids will look at me disapprovingly. See Michel is staring at me now as if daring me to scratch. I childishly glare back at him and watch in satisfaction as his lower lip juts out in an obvious pout. The bruises are mostly gone except for a few bone deep ones on my shoulder and hip. The scrapes are fading and the stitched cuts are not an angry red color anymore. In fact the doctor says I can get the stitches out in another few days. Free said he would be happy to remove the stitches… as if I would let him any where near me with a scissors.

Free is still a bit miffed at me for telling Michel that he has a secret crush on Mihirogi. All lies of course but that did not stop the chibi from writing a passionate love letter and signing the tall assassin’s name. Honestly some of the words the young man used. I think he got into Aya’s secret stash of romance novels. Ok so maybe I had a few too many beers when I told Michel this little white lie but I was desperate for entertainment. Plus it was worth the look on Free’s face when the lady in question showed up and politely told him that she was flattered but it would never work out between them.

So letting Free near me with anything sharp and pointy is not a good idea right now. But then he’s probably cooking up some voodoo curse to zap me with or something. I just hope he doesn’t choose to attack the one part of my anatomy eagerly anticipating Aya and Chloe’s return.

How do I feel after two weeks without the rest of my team? I honestly don’t know. There are so many things that could happen. They could decide that it was a mistake. I could totally chicken out and deny I have feelings for them. Aya or Chloe could be hurt or killed… Oh god I do not even want to contemplate that. I could get hurt or killed… would they really miss me? All these thoughts are running round my head like a hamster in a wheel. Round and round but never going anywhere.

I have to snap out of it. I’m acting ridiculous. It’s impossible to make a decision until I see them again. What that decision will be? I have no freaking clue.

I can’t help it and mope the rest of the afternoon. I’m startled by Free tapping my shoulder. At least he used his finger and not one of his knives. Does that mean he forgives me?

“Dinner out, my treat.” Then he smiles. It’s a nice smile and not a I’m still going to get revenge type of grin. But with Free you can never tell.

“Closing time already? Dinner out? What’s the occasion?” I ask warily. Perhaps he plans to poison me.

“An evening out would do you some good and it is not fair to make you cook again. Plus I’m never eating Michel’s casserole surprise ever again… I think it had chicken and raspberry jelly in it… and maybe bean sprouts and mini marshmallows. It almost killed me.” Free hands my crutches to me.

“So what are we going to eat?” A night out would be nice. I’ve been cooped up too long.

A blond whirlwind throws himself on Free’s back. “Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!”

I laugh and we both roll our eyes. “Pizza it is then. But we are not letting Michel pick the toppings this time. Agreed?”

Free looks over his shoulder at the grinning teen. “Agreed.”

“HEY! Sausage and maraschino cherries are good.” Michel sticks his lower lip out again but we are mostly immune.

“Ok you can get your own pizza Free and I will share.” They wait for me to hobble after them as we go out to the garage.

I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve friends like these and even more important Aya and Chloe as lovers but I pray I don’t manage to fuck it up somehow.


	9. Indecision is hell on one's psyche

The relief of finally getting the cast off my ankle is such that I swear I spend the next 10 minutes blissfully scratching. The doctor looks on amused and then checks me over thoroughly. He advises that I go easy on the newly healed bone and wear my knee brace only as necessary. This for me means never. I gingerly get to my feet and walk. My ankle aches a bit but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I also get a paper outlining exercises I’m to do every day. It will be another month before I can jog again but at least I can do a full work out in the gym.

Michel is waiting for me when I come out. He’d offered to drive me here with his newly acquired license. I slide into the front seat and make sure to buckle my seat belt. I try not to grip the door handle as he pulls away from the curb. Michel approaches driving the way he does everything else… with enthusiasm and a total lack of self preservation. I must be insane to accept his offer of a ride. I can blame it on the drugs but I haven’t taken any. I guess I can chalk it up to anxiety over Aya and Chloe’s return late tomorrow night.

Now I don’t want to imply that Michel is a bad driver… he just thinks that he can defy the laws of gravity. I have to force myself not to hang on for dear life as he changes lanes with the panache of a suicidal maniac. At least he is keeping to the speed limit. The lecture he got after his first ticket left him pale and wide eyed for hours afterward. Neither Chloe nor Michel is repeating what was said. So engrossed in trying not to hang on for dear life I don’t realize he is talking to me.

“What?” I turn to him and pray he’s keeping his eyes on the road.

“I said do you want to stop and get something to eat?” Michel, totally oblivious to my utter terror, is managing to avoid all the other cars hell bent on playing demolition derby.

It’s been a long while since breakfast and food sounds like a good idea. “Sure I can do with a bite to eat.”

After a heart stopping three lane change the blond whips the car into a Mc Donald’s parking lot. We pull up to the drive through.

I wonder if He’ll think I’m a coward if I dive out the window and get a cab home.

The food is ordered, money exchanged and we’re back out on the highway. Bailing out would have been cowardly and I decide to suck it up and stay in the car.

Mercifully enough we make it back in one piece and I grab my food and leave the car. It’s so nice to be off those damned crutches. Michel hands Free his lunch and we eat in front of the TV like the slugs we are. Man I’ve gotten lazy over the last several weeks. Then it hits me… Aya and Chloe are going to be home tomorrow and my room looks like a cyclone has hit it. Normally I’m a fairly neat person but my old slobbish ways are rearing their ugly head.

Free and Michel snickers at me as I get up and mention I have cleaning to do. They both know I’m a fidgeting mess with the immanent arrival of my would be lovers. I throw my empty bag at Michel and head upstairs.

Man… I usually don’t let my room get so messy. I gather up the dirty clothes and put them in the hamper to wash later. The bed gets stripped and fresh linens put on. I pick up all the books and magazines scattered on the floor and then survey the wreck my bathroom has become. Soon it is sparkling clean and after I run a dust rag over everything I collapse on the bed. My leg aches but I stubbornly refuse to put on the brace.

I roll over and look at the door when I hear a light knocking. A moment later a blond head pops in. Michel comes in and flops down beside me.

“Wow it sure looks a lot better in here. It’s a good thing Aya and Chloe are returning since they are a good influence on the disaster you call a room. This place was getting pretty bad.” Michel rolls onto his side to look at me innocently. “Hmm… I suppose you can always exchange cleaning favors with Chloe for blowjobs.”

I gape at him while he just smiles sweetly at me. How can such an innocent package hide such a devious mind? That line earns him a jab in the side and before he can retaliate I smack him with a pillow. That of course starts a pillow fight of epic proportions. The blows fall fast and furious till Michel falls on the bed clutching his head. Afraid that I’ve hurt him I drop my pillow and lean over. I reach out to touch his face when a pillow comes out of nowhere and hits me full on and I topple off the bed.

Michel’s cherubic face peers over the side of the bed. “Gotcha! You are such a sucker.” Then he laughs and evil sort of laugh that is so out of character with his cherub like face.

“When I have the strength to move you’re so going to get it. Did you come in here for a reason other than to abuse me?” I decide the floor is not such a bad place to be and realize that I forgot to clean out from under the bed.

“Oh yeah… I wanted to tell you that your bike was dropped off a little while ago… or what’s left of it. Do you want to go look? It’s in the garage.” He bounces off the bed and stands there looking at me.

I sigh. I’m really not sure I want to see what remains of my precious Ducati.

“I suppose it won’t kill me. C’mon lets go.”

I let the Michel pull me to my feet and we head downstairs. I take a deep breath and we go into the garage. Michel flips on the light and there revealed in all its glory is my precious bike. At first glance the damage does not appear to be that bad. It’s more or less intact. I know better… its once sleek lines are marred by missing chunks and pieces. The engine will need a major overhaul and many parts will have to be replaced. I wonder if it will be worth the effort. I mean I can afford a new bike and with the insurance money I can even upgrade. Then I remember the excitement on everyone’s face as I was led out to the garage and given my present. I also remember how overjoyed I was and resolve to fix it right then no matter how long it takes.

Michel and I spend most of the rest of the day taking my baby apart and making a list of all the repairs. Free wanders in at one point with a plate of sandwiches and mugs of tomato soup. We attack the food gratefully and the tall assassin stays to help with the heavier parts. By the time it gets dark outside I have done as much as I can with the tools on hand. We’re all covered with oil and dirt and my leg is so stiff I need help getting up the stairs.

Free and Michel graciously agree to be my crutches and they help me to my room. I desperately need a shower and some painkillers. I’m left to my own devices and start to shed my clothes thinking how good the hot water is going to feel on my aching muscles. Remembering the condition of my room earlier I pick up the grungy clothes and toss them in the hamper.

There are times I adore my oversized shower. I nearly moan in bliss as the hot water and pulsing spray seek out all the aches and pains. After my little shower mishap nearly a month ago I replaced the one shower massage with a multi nozzle showerhead. They’re adjustable and I have the four different heads aimed to pulse water at varying heights. My hands glide over my soap slick body and my mind wanders back to the night before Aya and Chloe left. Which was one of the most intensely erotic experiences of my life.

It’d been so long since I’d felt another’s touch on my body that much to my embarrassment I wasn’t able to last very long. Aya and Chloe did not seem to mind though and I wonder if I took their offer if the experience might be more than I can handle.

Aya’s silky voice and the scent of Chloe’s skin make me groan with the memory. Did I want more? At this moment my body overrides my common sense. I am hard and need release. I close my eyes and run my hands over my chest slowly going downward. I shudder and groan again as I lightly trace my hard on with one hand. The soap adds a wonderful slickness and I grip myself in a loose fist. Up and down I stroke till I am panting and my other hand is gripping the tiles. This is a familiar exercise for me and has been my only form of sexual gratification for a long time.

I’m not fond of picking up one night stands and while I consider myself bisexual I don’t fit in the gay scene. The one time my memories had left me unbearably lonely I tried going to a bar that catered to male companionship. To say I felt out of place was a vast understatement. I fled before I’d even been there ten minutes.

My hand sped up as heat spreads from my belly. I now have another fantasy to replace the blond, cerulean eyed teen that haunted me for so long. Visions of Chloe and Aya both taking me filled my mind. I moaned continuously as I lean back against the shower wall. My other soap slick hand slips between my legs and I brush the entrance to my body. I wanted Aya to be the first one to fuck me. I had wanted him to for so long... I didn’t care what happens after that. I imagine that the fingers pushing slowly inside belong to the fiery redhead. I come hard with his name on my lips. The water washes away the evidence of my orgasm and I gasp for air.

I finish my shower and dry off enough so that I won’t drip all over the floor. A towel went around my waist and I limp to the sink. I get some painkillers out of the medicine cabinet and swallow them with some water I drank out of my cupped hand. I went into the bedroom and drop the towel and shiver in the chill room. I get some flannel drawstring pants out of my drawer and a t-shirt. I never even contemplate sleeping bare. It’s too chilly for that and I get cold easily. It was always a fight to keep Omi from throwing all the covers off. He tended to not get cold like I did and would yelp when my nose or feet touched his bare skin.

I crawl into bed and burrow under the chocolate brown down filled comforter. I sigh as the warmth soaks in. As I try to sleep thoughts bombard me. Aya and Chloe are coming back tomorrow. I’d not spoken to them for three weeks. We just get the occasional the team is alright and the mission is progressing according to plan from Mihirogi. I had to be satisfied with that even though I want to hear it from Aya in person. I have trust issues. Can you blame me?

I need Aya to tell me that he hasn’t forgotten about me. That he hasn’t decided to stay with Chloe and I’m just a passing fancy. It’s pathetic and whiny but that’s the way I feel. Now that the house is quiet all my fears and insecurities creep back in and I sigh... it’s going to be a long night.

Tossing and turning is not the most pleasant way to while away the hours till dawn. I turn over and look at the red readout on my clock. It figures... three am. Too restless to lie in bed anymore I get up and make my way downstairs. There is a light on in the living room and I hear hushed voices. I peek into the room and Free is sitting on the couch with Michel curled up next to him. The tall assassin’s arms are around the blond and he is stroking his head.

Michel is sniffling a bit and has his face turned and pressed to Free’s side. He doesn’t know I’m here and when Free looks my way he shakes his head slightly. I understand and I don’t want to intrude. Michel is plagued with horrific nightmares and usually seeks out his tall friend’s company to get much needed comfort and a shoulder to cry on. Usually Michel is upbeat and almost unbearably cheerful. That’s why these nightmares affect him so much. He buries everything so deep that when some of the horror leaks through he falls apart. Michel does not like anyone to see him like this so that’s why I nod back at Free and quietly make my way to the kitchen.

We all have our demons and Michel’s coping method is too much like another blond young man I used to know. But unlike Omi I don’t see Michel turning into a cold, unfeeling bastard. Man my thoughts have taken a depressing turn. Opting for a beer instead of tea I grab a bottle out of the fridge and crack it open. I take a long drink and despite the cold I open the back door and go out into the courtyard. The greenhouse beckons me with the enticement of steamy warmth. It’s too damned chilly to stand outside anyway and big surprise it looks like rain.

The glassed in structure is dark and when I go inside the humid heat seeps into my bones. The stack of sandbags is still there and I sit on one as I look around. This is where Chloe kissed me for the first time and when I was told of Aya’s feelings. The broken pot has been replaced and his precious Orchids are healthy and lush with vibrant color. They are yet another reminder of a past we left behind.

I finish my beer and yawn. Damn I’m tired but nothing has been resolved. I still don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. It’ll just have to wait until I see the both of them. That mission couldn’t have come at a worse time. Right at the beginning of a budding relationship that I am not even sure I can handle. What is there for us besides the promise of sex? I can’t be content to be their occasional fuck buddy. I want to spend time with them and be part of their lives. What if that is not what they want? Damnit I’m doing it again... whiny Ken has resurfaced. Yohji would laugh his ass off at my dilemma. He would tell me to not worry about it. He would say just go with the flow Ken-Ken. Perhaps he’s right? I throw the empty bottle in the rubbish bin and go back into the house.

The living room is quiet and dark except for the light from the fireplace. I can’t resist looking in the doorway. Free and Michel are still curled up on the couch and wonder of wonders they are both asleep. The young man is sprawled across his lap and Free’s arms are wrapped around him. Even weirder is the slight smile on the tall assassin’s face. But then this last month has shown me a whole new side to Free. One that is caring and nurturing especially where Michel is concerned. I leave them to their rest and return to my room.

I really need to get some shuteye and after a moment’s deliberation I opt to take half of one of my sleeping pills. I hate the damned things but with the immanent rain I can feel each and every one of my injuries... old and recent. I use the bathroom and then take the pill and get back into bed. I lay there with my eyes closed until the familiar lassitude creeps in and I can relax enough to sleep.

The next morning I’m cruelly attacked by a blond sadist. My bed is leaped on and the imp bounces all around me. That’ll teach me not to lock my door the night before. It seems that Michel is fully recovered from his bout of depression last night and I know better than to ask.

“Why are you here... don’t you value your life at all?” I blearily crack open one eye and stare. I wish I hadn’t.

Michel is wearing a lime green pair of jeans and a bright orange sweater. I see spots before my eyes and wonder if I’m going blind. Thank god Aya’s orange sweater died a timely death many years ago... helped along with a can of Yohji’s lighter fluid and a match. Hey we gave it a good funeral... Aya was just not there to see it. Michel’s sweater is like its evil twin come back to haunt me. Karma is a bitch.

“Free cooked breakfast and says to get your ass downstairs and to the table.” Michel smiles sweetly as he flops down beside me.

I cock an eyebrow. “Oh is that what he said?”

“Um... well he might not have put it exactly like that but he did cook and it’s ready and I’m starving.” His stomach rumbles at that point and I laugh.

I swear the kid has a hollow leg. He’s never full. “Alright I’m getting up. Go on and tell Free I’ll be downstairs in a few minutes.” I aim a swat at his hip and he easily dodges and skips out of the room. So different from the wrecked young man in Free’s arms last night.

I hurry and get dressed since I know Michel will be back soon to literally drag me from the room. I opt for gray sweats since I intend to work on my bike after breakfast. I have no idea when Yuki, Free and Chloe are returning but I’ll be damned if I’m going to wait for their arrival… pacing back and forth like a virgin on her wedding night.

I make it down to the kitchen just as a fidgeting Michel gets up to come fetch me. Delectable smells are emanating from the stove and I see why Michel is eager to dig in. Free has made one of his favorites. We call em kitchen sink omelets. Since they have everything in them but the kitchen sink. It may sound weird but they’re actually quite good. I sit down and Free places our plates on the table before he joins us.

The fluffy egg mixture looks to contain onions, cheese, ham, green peppers, some left over tater tots, rice and if I am not mistaken the rest of the chili I made a few days ago. I dump hot sauce on mine and eat. Like I said surprisingly good… that is till I see Michel dump grape jelly all over his. Ok that is just ewwww. Free chuckles and eats his omelet with a bit of ketchup.

After breakfast I vacate the kitchen as quickly as possible so I don’t get drafted for dishes duty. I head to the garage and spend the rest of the morning and a good part of the afternoon completely taking my bike apart and laying out all the pieces on a tarp. I’ve done all I can do till I get the new parts so I go back in and grab a sandwich from the kitchen. Michel and Free are in the shop today and since I pulled a double shift earlier in the week I have the day off. That will change soon the closer it gets to the holidays. Then we’ll be swamped and most likely hire one of the neighborhood teens to help out in the greenhouse. This is like the calm before the storm.

I wander back upstairs and take a shower to wash off the dirt and grease. Afterward I catch myself pacing and glancing out the window frequently and curse. This is exactly what I said I wouldn’t do. But I can’t help wondering why they aren’t back yet. One more peek out the window and I’m convinced I need to find something to do. I change out of my robe and into a pair of black Speedos and a tank top. I might as well go and work out. I’d been neglecting my body lately and would pay the price later.

Up to the third floor and to the large mat covered room. We’d removed most of the walls except for a full bath to make room for anything from weight lifting to full out sparring. I carefully take the time to stretch and loosen up my muscles before hitting the weights. Initially I was more than a bit chilly because of my light clothing but soon I’m glad when I start to sweat. I would’ve been too hot in anything else.

After the weights I do some chin ups on the bar and grab my claws. The leather has gotten a bit stiff so I take the bottle of baby oil I keep with my glove and squirt a little on the leather and work it in well. I set the bottle aside and slide em on. I flex my hands and the blades pop free. I feel an exhilaration welling up inside and smile as I swipe at an imaginary foe.

I no longer crave the killing but I still get a rush nevertheless. Underhand slashes and overhand parries. I move through a complicated routine of punches, kicks and jabs. I have to rely on my speed, stamina and overall hand to hand combat abilities as much as the claws themselves. My ankle twinges more than a bit and I ignore it for the moment. I’m too caught up in the dance and will undoubtedly pay the price later.

I finally stop when my leg threatens to buckle and I retract the blades as I stand gasping for air. I nearly jump out of my skin when a pair of arms winds around my waist.

“Did you miss me?”


	10. Resolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though I've seen friendships ruined when love is involved,
> 
> I just can't resist anymore I need you, more than you'll ever know
> 
> Just the thought of the taste of your lips gives me chills
> 
> How I've longed for your gentle caress
> 
> In your arms, hold you close, one more kiss
> 
> Don't you know how strong this lust for you has grown?
> 
> Just say the word and I am yours.
> 
> Bosanova Casanova
> 
> by Weiss Kreuz

That scent… spicy and very familiar surrounds me. Aya… he’s back. Also if the lips pressed to the back of my neck are any indication it appears his feelings have not changed.

He’s lucky I did not gut him. But I could care less about that now. Aya is home safe and has his arms around me. Oh… ack I’m all sweaty.

“Aya… welcome home. Just let me get cleaned up and I can…” I groan as he presses his lips beneath my ear.

“No I like you this way. I was watching you Ken. You’re beautiful… poetry in motion.” He trails his mouth down the side of my neck and bites gently.

I flush at his words and bite my lip. My tight shorts are not going to hide his effect on me for long. “Aya… not here. Let’s go back to my room.”

“I want you here, now like this. I waited too damned long already. What about your promise to call me Ran? Did you forget already?” His low voice sends warm air wafting over the skin on my neck.

“Nnnn… no I didn’t Ran. I just.” I lose the ability to speak when his hand brushes against the front of my Speedos.

“Starting without me again? Shame on you two.” I look up as Chloe walks into the room. He’s barefoot and his shirt is all the way unbuttoned. The glimpses of his bare chest cause my mouth to go dry.

“Well you were the one who insisted on unpacking. Plus I take it you arranged it so we would be alone up here?” Aya stops what he is doing and I groan.

“Well Michel and Yuki are happily catching up and Free knows better than to come up here right now. Plus he promises to keep the youngsters occupied if the need arises.

I swallow nervously as the icy blond comes and stands in front of me. Is this what I want? I still don’t know.

“Wait… I’m not sure if this is a good idea.”

Chloe takes my wrist and removes the glove. He does the same thing for the other hand. After he sets the weapons aside he moves in front of me again even closer than before. I can smell the rose scent of his skin as he places his arms around me.

“I missed you Ken. We both did.” He rubs his chin against my collar bone before giving it a playful lick.

I try hard not to squirm. Aya is nuzzling my neck and his hand is still lightly rubbing the front of my shorts. I actually jump when Chloe’s hands skim down my sides and slip between Aya and me to grab my ass. I gasp as the blond assassin grinds his hips against mine trapping Aya’s hands.

“S… stop… I can’t think when you do that.” My libido is screaming at me to shut the hell up and not ruin what is about to happen.

Aya and Chloe share a kiss over my shoulder and I’m so close I can see the blond’s tongue slide into his mouth. They’re both rubbing against me and despite my better judgment I place my hands on Chloe’s warm chest. They feel so good pressed against me and I feel wanted. But that isn’t enough. I can’t just do this without thinking of the consequences. I expected to be able to talk to them first after they got back but it seems Chloe and Aya have other ideas.

I can’t help myself and as I touch that smooth skin I’m rewarded by a deep groan. A thrill of pure pleasure floods through me to know that I’m the one that’s causing Chloe to make these noises. They break off their kiss and Chloe moves his lips over my jaw biting and nipping. My hands fist in the fabric of his shirt as Aya’s slips under the tight waistband of my Speedos. Chloe is kneading my ass as Aya touches me. When his hand lightly grasps me I freeze and try to pull away.

“Ken what’s wrong?” Aya’s voice is soft and laced with concern.

Chloe lifts his head to look in my eyes. I’m sure he can see the confusion swimming there.

“I… I’m sorry. This is going way too fast.” I hang my head as shame creeps in.

“Ken you want us. Your body doesn’t lie. What’s the problem? Did something change while we were gone?” Chloe cups my cheek and raises my head. I find it so hard to look in his eyes. They too are filled with concern… for me. It’s something I never thought to see there. It’s a look I’d only seen him use for Aya.

“I’m so confused. This is so weird and unusual. I can’t help wondering if I’m just a way to spice up your relationship. You know a convenient fuck for when you want a threesome.” There goes my mouth getting me into trouble again. I expect them both to get angry and push me away. Then I can be miserable in peace.

I’m stunned when they hug me tighter.

“Trust me Ken. I know you’ve been hurt badly in the past. While I don’t know where this relationship will take us or even if it will last I promise to never lie to you. I care a great deal for you. We both do. We want you. Right here and right now. After that… who can say? Please Ken let us show you how much we care.”

Aya said please. He promises not to lie to me. Can I trust what he is saying? I’ve known Aya for years. Been through hell and back with him and now he’s asking me for something I’m not sure I’m willing to give. But damn it don’t I deserve some happiness? I want to be selfish for once in my life.

“Don’t push us away. I want you to be happy Ken. Let us show you.” Chloe’s mouth is a mere inch from mine.

I cave, I give in. I don’t have the strength to say no. It’s not just the effect their bodies are having on mine but also the sincerity and affection in their voices. I’m so damned tired of being alone.

“Yes… please.” I whisper.

Chloe’s sensual mouth curves up in a smile right before he claims my lips. I open my mouth willingly and he deepens the kiss. I feel as if he is trying to devour me whole. I can’t think... not with the two of them doing wicked things to my body. Aya’s hand is wrapped around my cock while his other one pulls at the spandex till it’s around my ankles. I step out of the shorts while Aya removes the tank top by simply ripping it up the back. I could care less though as Chloe’s hands return to my ass and he grips me tightly.

I’m too far gone to be self-conscious at my nakedness especially when Chloe breaks the kiss and slowly sinks to his knees. He pauses to tongue each part of my abdomen and bites at the ridges of muscle. He even traces the rough scar tissue from Aya’s katana and sucks lightly on the thickened skin. I guess it’s his way of showing me that my scars do not bother him in the least. I can scarcely keep still and I think I forget how to breathe when he looks up at me and winks.

I’m putty in their hands and I gasp loudly as Aya’s hand stills and I look down. He’s holding me out to Chloe and I shudder as the blond nuzzles Aya’s hand. His soft hair brushing against my shaft is making me groan. Ice blue eyes look up at me and one long lick nearly causes my legs to buckle. My fists clench as he playfully nibbles on Aya’s fingers before licking me again. His wet tongue trails up and down my cock as his fingers dig into my ass. I don’t care if he leaves bruises as long as he doesn’t stop what he’s doing.

It takes me a moment to realize that Aya is no longer pressed against my back. I want him here so very badly despite what Chloe is doing to me. I try and look behind me to see where he’s gone. Noticing my distress Chloe bites my hip and surprised I look back down at him. His skin is flushed and his lips glisten slightly. His slacks are also unfastened and damn me but he seems to go commando. There is nothing barring my view of his cock. Pale cream colored like the rest of his body with the exception of the head which is flushed pink with arousal. His one hand is still on my behind while the other is taking a meandering trip up my inner thigh.

“Ken… Aya is getting rid of his clothing. They were getting in the way. He’ll be right back. Pay attention to me now. I don’t like being ignored.” As if to prove a point he bites my hip again… this time rather hard.

I yelp and glare down at him. He answers with a sexy as hell little laugh then wraps his hand around my cock. I watch breathlessly as his pink tongue darts out to delicately lap at the tip. I shudder and wonder if I can stay upright cause my legs already feel rather weak.

“Beautiful isn’t he?” Aya’s voice whispers in my ear.

He’s once again a warm presence at my back but now I feel bare skin pressed against me. Almost equal in height I feel his arousal as he rubs against me like a large cat.

I fail to form any coherent words as Chloe takes me into his mouth. Down his lips slide till his nose is nestled at the base of my cock. Painfully slowly he slides back up again hollowing his cheeks and sucking. Oh god it feels so good. I bite my lip and tentatively reach out to touch him.

“Ken… its ok to touch. But if you pull his hair he has a tendency to bite.” Aya’s hands are stroking my chest as he explores my neck with his lips.

As if to prove his point I feel the faint rasp of teeth and suck in a harsh breath. He grins around his mouthful as I carefully thread my fingers into his platinum hair. I feel shuddery and weak and totally at the mercy of the two men here with me. It’s not a role I’m used to taking and it’s a very odd feeling to put yourself totally at the mercy of someone else.

Omi preferred I take a more aggressive role with him. I realize that I have little choice but to give in as they do whatever they desire. I know though, if I truly ask Aya and Chloe to stop they will. Aya licks and bites my neck as his fingers pinch my nipples. Sparks of pleasure tinged pain shoot straight to my groin as Aya grinds himself against me. I don’t know which way is up anymore as Chloe bobs his head over my erection. His hands once more clasp my ass spreading me a bit so Aya’s pre-cum slick cock slides along my crack.

I can’t remain still… the urge to thrust is overwhelming. “I… need. Ah… God Yes… Chloe… I need to…”

“Go ahead Ken he can take it.” Aya’s husky voice rasps in my ear.

I throw my head back and grip Chloe’s head and thrust into his hot, wet mouth. He takes me easily and groans his approval. The slight noise sends tingles up my cock. I won’t last long especially when I feel a finger slide inside me. I have no idea who’s as I gasp and moan between them. I don’t want it to end. I need a second… just a moment to pull back from the edge.

“I… can’t. Aya, Chloe… I don’t want it to… ah God. To… end.” I tense up as the blond crouched in front of me takes just the tip in his mouth as he pumps my shaft. The fingers inside me, somewhere along the line another one was added, press against a place the makes me near howl. If not for the strong arm around my waist I might have collapsed at that point.

“Let go Ken… come for us. Just let go… that’s it. Let Chloe taste you. He wants to so badly. God you are so hot and tight. I’m going to enjoy fucking you.” Those words coming from Aya are like the biggest freaking turn on.

Coupled with the mouth on my cock, the hands on my body and the fingers thrust inside me I don’t stand a chance. I explode in Chloe’s mouth as he eagerly sucks me dry. The fingers still and Aya reaches around and strokes Chloe’s cheek as he releases me. My hands drop to my sides and I gasp trying to get enough air into my lungs. Aya is still pressed to me and his cock is hard against the cleft of my ass. I need to be claimed by him and feel him moving inside me. I want to believe that he cares for me and I just want someone else to take control for a while.

The fingers are gone too and I’m shaking. Hands on my shoulders push me to my knees and I look at Chloe. His lips are reddened and slick and his eyes are half lidded with desire. He cups my face in his hands and I stare into his eyes.

“You tasted divine Ken. I’ve wanted to do that since that night in the green house.” I don’t know what to say as he lowers his head and places his lips against mine. I eagerly open under his probing tongue and taste a salty tang as he slants his head and forces his tongue deeper.

I moan into his kiss as his splayed fingers caress my jaw. I pull back a bit when I feel Aya’s fingers glide down my spine. They are slick and warm and I feel something dribble along my backside.

“What? Where did you find?” I stammer as Chloe is trying to leave the mother of all hickeys on my throat.

“There’s a bottle of baby oil conveniently left nearby on the mat. Were you expecting some action Ken Ken?” Chloe teases as he seems to now find my collar bone irresistible.

“I use it on the leather of my gloves. I just left it laying there. Ah... ss... stop a minute”

I tense up as Aya inserts three fingers inside me. I wince at the burning intrusion. I want him inside me but fuck it’s been a long time. “Ran… I… it’s been a while since I’ve done this. A very long while. I’m not sure that I…”

Aya’s soothing voice skates down my spine. “Relax Ken I’ll be careful. I want to do this. Let me inside please?”

All I can do is nod as Chloe takes a nipple into his mouth and bites. Aya did warn me though that Chloe likes to use his teeth. The sparks of pain distract me a bit and as Aya crooks his fingers I bury my face in Chloe’s neck to stifle my cry in the blond’s smooth skin. I don’t want to risk alerting the whole house.

Heat courses through me and I groan continuously as Aya strokes that spot repeatedly. I’m a moaning quivering wreck between them and when Aya asks me to lean forward it doesn’t even register. So Chloe takes my hands and tugs. Now on all fours I look back over my shoulder. The fingers are slowly removed and I miss the tingling heat and pressure.

Aya is pouring a pool of oil in his hand and I watch breathlessly as he slowly spreads it over himself. With each one of his soft groans I feel an answering tug in my own groin. Chloe leans up to kiss Aya and murmurs words I can’t hear in the red head’s ear. He shakes his head and lies back on the mat. His pants are kicked off and the unbuttoned dress shirt frames his lean body. On arm is pillowed under his head and the other idly strokes his hard cock.

He’s beautiful to look at and I know Aya is staring as well. I’m a bit confused at his withdrawal. Wasn’t he enjoying himself? Was it something I did? Chloe notices my furrowed brow and hastens to sit up to kiss me and stroke my face.

“This first time should be just you an Aya. You’ve wanted this for a long time and I won’t intrude.” He smiles at me and I hasten to ask him to join in but a finger is placed against my lips.

“Shhh…. No protests. I’m content to watch. God I could come from that alone. You two look so hot together. I want to see your face as he slowly sinks into your body. As he thrusts and moans against your back.” This time when he returns to the mat he’s almost right underneath me.

I hiss through my teeth as he raises one hand to run it up my chest. Aya kisses his way down my back and a hand on each of my thighs spreads me even wider. Open and exposed I bite my lip as I feel a blunt pressure against my entrance. I can’t help it I tense up. Truthfully the last one I bottomed for on a regular basis was Kase. Omi really didn’t like to assume control and I was more than happy to oblige. So aside from the occasional experimentation with a toy or two I’ve not done this in a long time.

“Easy Ken… don’t fight it. Let me inside.” Aya reaches around and grasps my half hard cock and strokes. Chloe’s hand joins his and he cups my balls.

It only takes a few moments of attention from their talented hands before I’m gasping both their names. So when Aya pushes forward again despite the burn all I can do is gasp for air. I can’t help a few involuntary noises as he sinks inside. Aya is much bigger then I would have thought and he is stretching me rather painfully. His hand on my cock does not stop stroking and his slow pace is maddening. Yeah it hurts but not as bad as some of the injuries I’ve had over the years. Kase was much rougher and pain played such a big part in my sex life that I thought that was how it was supposed to be. I guess I have Omi to thank for showing me differently.

I rock impatiently back against Aya and he slides in to the hilt. The hand on my hip squeezes hard enough to leave marks. He stops to let me adjust as he gasps behind me. His calm facade is shattered and I can feel him tremble against my back.

“So tight… give me a minute. Gods Ken… so fucking tight.” I look back as Aya’s amethyst eyes slide shut as he tries to regain a bit of control.

My heart is racing in my chest and I’m panting. It’s not enough… I want more.

“Ran… please move. I’m alright just fuck me please.”

I hiss as he pulls back and surges forward again. The burn recedes as he thrusts and I eagerly push myself back encouraging him to go faster and thrust harder.

“So good… Ken. Ah… so good.” Aya cries out over and over as his hand on my dick keeps pace with his pistoning hips.

I look down at Chloe as he’s watching us. His own hand slides up and down his rock hard erection in time with Aya’s thrusts. “Fuck him Aya… yeah… oh yes, yes.”

Chloe is positioned on the mats so if I lean down a bit I can do for him what he did for me earlier. Despite being nearly out of my mind with pleasure I’m struck with the overwhelming urge to lap up the milky droplets leaking steadily from the tip of his cock. I give in to the urge and earn a surprised gasp from Chloe. His eyes widen as I take him into my mouth and suck. The velvet softness of his skin and the bittersweet taste of him fills my mouth.

His back arches off the mat and I gag slightly as he pushes in too far. I lift my head a bit and try again. This time he stays still as I slide my lips down his shaft. I’m able to go a bit more than half way this time before I have to pull back. I’m surprised I’m coherent enough to do this but I want him to be a part of this too and not just a spectator. I might not have given a blow job in a few years but judging by Chloe’s writhing and mewling I’d say I’m doing ok.

His hands grip my forearms and I let him thrust shallowly in my mouth. I stroke him with my tongue as I bob my head. God who would have thought to see me in this position. No one is more amazed than I am and this could get addicting real quick as Aya and Chloe both moan my name over and over. I’m also fast losing control as my second orgasm of the afternoon rushes towards me. Aya’s precision pays off and he nudges my sweet spot over and over. I moan around my mouthful and Chloe grips my hair. The slap of sweaty flesh against sweaty flesh and our constant voiced appreciation fills the room as Chloe suddenly arches under me.

A flood of salty fluid fills my mouth and I pull back. I swallow some and the rest splatters my chin. I release him as he grips his flagging erection milking the last droplets to fall on his groin as he moans softly. I sag forward as Aya’s fingers brush against the head of my cock. I grunt with the strength of his thrusts and he’s determined that I keep pace.

My cheek rests against Chloe’s hip as sensations finally overwhelm me totally. I recite a mindless string of encouraging words as Aya fills me. Chloe runs his fingers through my sweat dampened hair and his words pierce through the haze.

“Come for us Ken… that’s it. Come on baby. Let go.”

My hands clutch the mat and I cry out so loud that I wouldn’t be surprised if the neighbors call the cops. Aya strokes deep and one last hit dead on against my prostate I come. Oh god it’s all so freaking intense. I scream Aya’s name as I coat his hand and Chloe’s thighs. My chest is heaving for air and Chloe wraps his arms around me. Aya grips my hips and can feel his teeth lightly graze my neck as he all but drapes himself over me as he thrusts.

“Ken... ah. Ken...Ah yes. Yes that’s it. So hot... so fucking hot.” Aya breathes into my ear.

Then he is coming too. Spasming inside me so hard I can feel his seed bathe my insides as he thrusts several more times. His sweat soaked hair brushes my shoulder as his hands run up my torso to rest on my chest. I’m sure he can feel the still frantic beat of my heart as I try to recover. Aya kisses my neck and rests against my back trembling. I know exactly how he feels. Drained, sated and wrecked.

I wince a bit as he carefully pulls out and shifts to one side so he can lie beside us. I move over enough so that I’m not on top of Chloe. I have a sexily disheveled blond in front of me and an equally gorgeous redhead spooned in behind me. Their arms hold me and we’re quiet for a few moments as I try to get my brain to reboot.

Reality intrudes on the idyllic moment though and I get uncomfortable. I’m not perfect and the doubt’s that have been plaguing me begin to creep back in. Aya‘s lips brush my shoulder as Chloe’s fingers trace my abdomen.

“What are you thinking Ken?” Aya asks scooting even closer pining me in place as if he thought I might run.

I try to make light of my tumultuous feelings. “I’m thinking that I’m lying in the wet spot.”

Chloe’s burst of delighted laughter is surprising and I can’t help smiling a bit in return. He brushes my bangs out of my eyes and looks right at me. “Seriously though Ken what are you thinking? Do you want this? DO you want us?”

I wonder if I dare to reach out and hold Chloe like he’s holding me. Something stops me. Perhaps it’s the memory of the aloof teasing blond whose cutting remarks used to infuriate me. It’s so different from the man in front of me now who is soft, warm and welcoming.

“I’m overwhelmed by it all. I don’t know what to think. One part of me wants to stay here in your arms and the other part is screaming at me that it is a huge mistake and I’ll only get hurt again.” I don’t think I can go through another spectacular rejection.

“Ken we can’t promise that nothing will ever happen or that this will last forever. I just want you to be happy. Do you think you could be happy with us?” Aya’s soft voice makes me want burrow against him and never let go.

Could I actually be happy? Do I even deserve to be happy? Damn it I think I do. I want to feel loved and appreciated. Loneliness sucks and I’ve had my fill for one life time.

“I think I could be happy with the two of you. I want to try.” Those simple words seem to lighten a burden I have carried for a long time.

“See Aya I told you that Ken would have to be an idiot to turn us down. Even he is not that dense.” Chloe chuckles evilly. “Also as nice as cuddling here is I’d rather clean up and retreat to a nice warm bed with the two of you. Plus I’m all sticky and if we stay like this much longer I’ll adhere to the mats.”

I playfully hit his arm for his remark about my intelligence and rear back in surprise when he winces. What the hell? I part the shirt to look at his upper arm. It is swathed in a thick bandage. Concerned I trace it with my fingers.

“It’s ok Ken... I just got shot during the mission.” Chloe places his hand over mine.

“Shot! Why didn’t you say something? I never would have...” Chloe cuts me off mid sentence.

“Never would have what? Given me a fantastic blow job? It’s only a flesh wound and I was not about to let Aya have all the fun. Now can we get up and take the shower we all so desperately need?”

His pleading tone prompts us to get to our feet. I look at the mess on the mats and flush a bit.

“We’ll clean it up later Ken. Shower now and believe it or not Chloe and I could use some sleep. You’re going to join us and we aren’t taking no for an answer since it’s your bed I intend to crash in.” I’m grabbed by the hand and tugged towards the door when the realization that we are naked rushes in.

“Wait... we can’t!” I’m horrified at the thought of running into anyone in the hall.

“Don’t be such a chicken Ken your door is the first one after we get down the steps no one is going to see. Besides Free mentioned taking Yuki and Michel out for pizza.” Chloe continues to tug me towards the door.

Resigned I let them but I’m sure that I’m blushing bright crimson as we head downstairs. I breathe a sigh of relief as we enter my room and shut the door. I listen as Chloe and Aya argue good-naturedly.

“Well you would not have gotten shot if you had not hesitated in front of that leather fetish shop.”

“But those boots were worth a second look. Besides how was I supposed to know that guy wasn’t dead? Anyway I did manage to go back for some souvenirs from that very shop. They had some lovely toys I can’t wait to try out.” Chloe looks over his shoulder and smirks at me.

I swallow nervously and think my life just got a hell of a lot more interesting.


	11. Epilogue

I wake up this morning to a sensation I’m still not at all used to. It’s a pair of warm lips wrapped around my… well you get the idea. I’m so startled that I fling myself backward and almost fall to the floor. A muffled squawk sounds from beneath the covers as I hang half off the bed with a rather bad case of morning wood pointing proudly at the ceiling. There’s someone behind me laughing hysterically and I’m about to die of equal amounts of embarrassment and unrequited lust.

Hey can I help it I’m an assassin with a large amount of paranoia instilled reflexes?

The covers are flung back and a flushed and frowning red head is glaring at the blond behind me. Even after three months of sharing a bed occasionally with Aya and Chloe I still can’t believe the circumstances behind our unusual relationship. I mean we have not confessed our undying love or anything but I do love Aya and am genuinely fond of Chloe. He loves Aya too, if he didn’t feel at least marginally the same about me there would be no way he’d be sharing a bed with us. No matter how kinky Chloe professes to be. He’s not the type to sleep with me because Aya cares for us both.

I groan ruefully as Aya rubs his nose. I really hope I did not kick him. I place the palm of my hand over my face and can’t believe I ruined a perfectly nice morning blowjob. I would not blame em if they carried on without me.

Perhaps my luck is holding as I feel a light touch on my neck.

“Keep your eyes closed lover. Just lie back and enjoy what we’re going to do to you.” Chloe’s voice as it whispers in my ear is enough to make me shiver. Low and husky it’s like a caress right to my cock.

I scoot up a bit and I assume it’s Chloe that pulls my hand from my face and raises my arms above my head. I play the game because if I don’t they might decide to leave me out. So I’m spread out on the bed, eyes closed anticipating their next move. I’m content to let them take the lead because truthfully they are way more adventurous than I ever thought I could be.

I know better than to lower my arms. They are placed above my head in a gesture of submission. I grip the headboard when I feel a slight breath ghost over the skin on my chest. It’s the only warning I get before my nipples are bathed in warm wetness. They are both licking me and heat shoots through every vein in my body. I can’t tell whose mouth is whose as they thoroughly explore every inch of me. Soon I am a writhing, mewling mass of pleasure.

Once the noises spilling from my mouth would have mortified me and the two men in my bed know just how to make me beg for more. And I do… I beg for release as Chloe’s talented mouth closes over my throbbing flesh. I know it’s him because the blond likes to take me deep right from the start. Aya usually takes his time liking and sucking before taking me all the way in.

Funny that I can tell them apart by the way they give head. It’s really not something I want to advertise to the world. More than just Chloe’s hands stroke my thighs and I nearly scream when a second mouth joins Chloe’s. They both slide their tongues around the sensitive head of my cock and the wet sucking sound of their mouths almost sends me over the edge.

A dual blowjob… I must be the luckiest guy on the planet. I arch my back as one of them takes just the tip in while the other licks the soft skin of my sac. Aya… it has to be Aya. I wish I could open my eyes to watch them as they drive me out of my mind. If I do the incredible sensations will stop and I’ll get disapproving stares then the proper punishment. Once they tied me up and I had to watch as Chloe and Aya screwed each other senseless. I was left hard and desperate to come for quite a while before they took pity on me.

I chose to behave and am getting my reward. Hands on my thighs again push them open wide and a pillow slips under my hips. I feel vulnerable like this and my two tormentors hesitate long enough to make me squirm. Then a mouth returns to my cock and I feel a slick pressure against the opening to my body. Around, and around the fingers tease the sensitive spot beneath my balls. An arm across my abdomen keeps me from bucking wildly into that sucking mouth. At least I’m able to last longer now than those first few times we made love. It’d just been so long since I had to test my stamina like this. It still takes all my will power not to lose control as two slick fingers press inside me. That has to be Aya… he does not waste time with preliminaries. I bite my lip as I’m further tormented. Those seeking digits find the spot that makes me cry out. I can’t help myself it feels so damned good. One sensation melts into the next as I am nearly brought to orgasm. They stop just as I start to thrust into what has to be Chloe’s mouth.

“Open your eyes Ken.” Aya’s sultry voice wraps around me.

I do as he asks and see him kneeling between my legs poised to enter my body. His erection glistens with lube as Chloe strokes the both of us. The sight of them takes my breath away. Beautiful, deadly and all mine. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that they are here with me now and look as turned on as I am.

They make me feel wanted and safe. It’s a feeling I have been desperately missing until they approached me. I was a prize they were out to win. If Aya and Chloe had come right up to me and asked flat out for a threesome I’m sure I would have run screaming. Their confusing but well planned seduction worked because here I am legs spread wide and nearly incoherent with pleasure.

“Ran… Chloe… please. I need you. I need you both.” I’m not ashamed to tell them that… not any more.

“Watch then. Watch as I fill you. Watch as I claim you as mine.” Aya’s eyes fasten onto mine as he slowly pushes steadily inside.

“You mean ours Ran. He belongs to us both.” I’m a bit startled to hear Chloe so possessive as well. There’s a new note in his voice that was absent before. His pale aquamarine eyes seek out mine and shine with more than simple lust.

I gasp at Aya’s initial thrust and arch into the slow burn. Chloe runs his hands over both of us and trails them through the liquid that has pooled at the base of my cock. He runs his damp fingers up my abdomen tracing each quivering muscle. I work hard to maintain my body and compared to my lithe lovers I’m chiseled hard while they are lean and graceful. I do admit that my body is a vanity of mine and seeing Chloe’s fascination with my six pack has made all the sweat worth while. He nips at the tanned skin leaving small red marks. Its proof that this is not some fantasy I have created out of sheer loneliness. He bites sharply at one copper colored disc. Chloe likes to play a bit rough. It’s the feline in him I suppose and a reminder that they are the predators and I am the prey. My blond lover thoroughly ravages my nipples before working his way back down my body. I can feel his erection pressing into my hip as he rubs against me.

Aya grips my thighs tightly as he thrusts. He is hot and so deep inside that I grunt slightly at every move of his pistoning hips. I try to keep my eyes open to watch as he slowly loses control. My red headed lover’s lip curls up in a small sneer as his breath comes in ragged gasps.

Chloe bends his head to lick my cock and Aya’s rhythm falters for a moment and I realize where the hand not gripping me is. Not wanting to be left out the blond has at some point coated his fingers with the lube and slid them into Aya. I tremble under the red head as he stops completely. I want him to keep thrusting but know better than to demand at this point. I swear they love to see me like this… needy and whimpering.

“Chloe…Don’t stop” I cry out in disappointment as he releases me and sits up. The bastard winks at me and whispers something in Aya’s ear. I see him nod and Chloe kisses the side of his neck beneath his ear.

I have a pretty good idea what they are up to and gasp when Aya shifts his grip on my legs and pulls me even closer. My ankles now rest on his shoulders and he leans in to capture my lips. My mouth opens as he nibbles on my lower lip. His tongue slides inside to brush against my own. Chloe moves behind Aya and he moans into my mouth when the blond’s head disappears. Having been on the receiving end of Chloe’s talented mouth and judging from Aya’s mewling it is obvious he is being treated to a thorough rim job.

His hips rock slowly against me and it’s not enough. The slight friction is maddening as heat builds and spreads. I want him to take me hard but this slow pace is torture for me and Aya. Chloe has a firm grip on our red haired lover preventing him from moving much. Now he knows how I feel. I arch my back desperate for more contact. Now the infuriating blond is in control and it seems like he’s in no hurry to put us both out of our misery. Aya gasps and breaks the kiss. He rests his head on my chest. I know I have an athletic body but this position is causing my legs to ache.

“Damn it Chloe just do it already!” I groan as Aya’s grip on my legs is hard enough to bruise.

“I’m ready… now. Please.” Aya’s uncharacteristic plea delights Chloe as he chuckles at our discomfort.

“Oh if you insist. What exactly do you want me to do?” I really could kill the blond right now and I’m pretty sure Aya agrees with me.

Aya closes his eyes and tosses his head back. Chloe is kneeling behind him waiting for the red head to answer.

“Fuck me. Take us both. Ah… gods Chloe I need to move.” Aya’s breathy words are such a turn on that I pull him in for another kiss.

We both cry out as Chloe enters Aya in one hard thrust pushing him against me as well. The sight of my red haired lover as he is entered is the most erotic thing I have ever seen. His eyes are half closed and his face is flushed. He lifts his head and moans long and deep.

“Harder! More…need more! So good… Ah…yes so fucking good” Aya encourages the blond.

Chloe drives into Aya and sets the pace. It’s wild and frenzied and I can’t get enough. To be filled by the man I’ve loved for years is indescribable. There is more than just the connection of flesh on flesh. Our hearts and emotions are as tangled in the act as much as the physical side of it. We might not declare our affection vocally but here entwined like this there can be no denying it.

We’re all voicing our pleasure and here in my room we are as far away from our dangerous lives as we can get. All that exists in this bed is our lovemaking and the rest of the world fades to a dim recollection. The others in the household have also learned to always knock before entering. Sometimes we forget to lock the door and Michel has gotten surprised once or twice at the beginning of our relationship. I swear he stayed red for a week and would not even look at us for a full day.

I really don’t care if they can hear us or not. I’m too far gone to notice. Aya is hitting the spot that makes me wild with nearly every thrust and his cries make me believe Chloe is not missing the mark either. Aya and I are both vocal in our pleasure and Chloe’s ice blue eyes drink in the sight of us writhing under him. He quietly moans and sighs as we all come closer to the inevitable conclusion of our morning romp.

Aya comes first and his fingers dig into my skin as his seed warms me from within. He pants against my damp skin and his hand wraps around my cock. Chloe’s vigorous pounding still drives him deep into me and his stroking grip hurtles me toward completion.

“Yes… Ran… Yes. Like that… don’t stop. I’m going to… to come. Ah, ah faster.” I babble as my orgasm totally takes over my body. I shudder as I spill all over Aya’s hand and both our stomachs.

It’s all we can do is cling to each other gasping for air as Chloe thrusts into Aya’s body. We are both still quivering from the aftershocks of our own release as our other lover cries out our names as he comes at last. He rocks his hips against Aya’s backside milking each tremor. Then Chloe rests his forehead on the red heads shoulder.

Aya is deceptively strong but after a while his arms start to tremble as he supports both their weights above me. “Chloe… off.”

Wearily the blond lifts his head and looks at the both of us and grins. “Tired Ran? You don’t want to go again? Maybe we’ll let Ken fuck you this time.”

With a massive effort Aya sits up. He pulls out of me and I miss the intimate contact. Chloe is dislodged off his back and lays sprawled on the bed. Sweaty, disheveled and grinning like a cat that ate the canary. God how can he still manage to look so sexy? I start to get up. I imagine while they look ravaged and desirable I just look extremely messy.

Chloe reaches out and grabs my wrist and tugs. Off balance I tumble into his arms. He wraps his legs around me to keep me there.

“Any reason you were leaving Ken-ken?” Chloe kisses my nose and trails his fingers through the mess on my stomach.

“I just wanted to clean up.” It’s weird but I still get these flashes of uncertainty and I don’t know how to handle them. I guess some part of me still expects them to kick me out of the bed and wonder why the heck I was there at all. So I try and leave before that can happen.

Aya crawls over and spoons up behind me and puts his arms around the both of us. He sees the doubt in my eyes and once again hastens to reassure me.

“Ken we want you here. Never doubt that. You’re a part of us.” Aya nuzzles my neck and idly strokes my side. He traces the scar on my lower abdomen and I shiver at the contact.

Chloe places his hand over Aya’s and kisses me gently. “You belong to us remember? After all I collect beautiful things and have no intention of letting you go.”

That startles a laugh out of me. I still have a hard time believing this incredible man in my arms thinks I’m beautiful.

“If you say so Chloe. I do want the both of you. I just have a hard time believing it. Its like this is some wonderful dream and I’ll wake up to find myself alone again.” I burrow into Chloe and breathe in his sweet scent.

“Know that we love you and this is real. As unconventional as it may seem.” Aya’s quiet words take my breath away. It’s the first time he has said that he loves me. I raise my head and look at Chloe.

He’s smiling and hope creeps in.

“Ken you idiot. Of course I love you. Now if we could only do something about your wardrobe my life would be perfect.”

I’m stunned and at a total loss. I mean I’ve loved Aya for years and only recently came to realize Chloe holds an equal place in my heart. I never expected them to reciprocate.

Damn it but I’m blushing. I thought I was over that.

“I… I love you both too.” There I said it. I can’t believe I finally said it. I feel as if a great weight has been lifted off my chest. I feel positively giddy.

Safe and warm in their embrace I hug them both close and tell Aya and Chloe that I love them again. Just to make sure I was not hearing things. Drowsy from our lovemaking I snuggle in ready for a nap. My bliss is disrupted by a sharp knock on the door.

Michel’s boyish voice comes through loud and clear.

“If you three are finally done in there you promised to take me to get a Christmas tree. I swear you guys are like minks in heat. You have 20 minutes to get ready or I’m coming in with a bucket of ice. And don’t think this lock is going to stop me.”

I turn beet red this time as I wonder just how long he’d been standing out there listening. Aya groans at the prospect of an outing while, the ever ready to go shopping of any kind, Chloe practically leaps out of bed. Where the hell does he get his energy? Soon I’m alone in the bed as I watch Aya grumble and get to his feet. Content to lay here I close my eyes.

I yelp loudly as a hand comes down on my backside with a sharp smack. I look over my shoulder to find Chloe with his hand poised over my ass to do it again.

“Dammit that hurt!” I protest. Actually it’s more of a whine but I hope they didn’t notice.

“Awww do you want me to kiss it and make it better?” Chloe says in an overly sweet voice.

I do notice there is a red handprint on my left cheek. “Yes kiss it and make it better.”

Chloe leans in and presses his lips to the abused flesh. I yelp again as he bites me. Aya laughs at the maniac as he runs off to the bathroom. I hear the shower turn on and then he starts to sing. I’m not even sure what language it’s in or that he is even hitting the right notes. Chloe may look like an angel but his singing voice is really quite atrocious.

Aya and I look at each other and roll our eyes. Chloe will keep caterwauling till we join him. I take my lover’s extended hand and he pulls me to my feet. Arms around each other we head into the bathroom before Michel can make good on his threat.

Part II

It’s quite a while before we’re all clean and out of the shower. Although the threat of Michel bursting in on us is enough of an incentive to cut short the normal routine. We usually end up in my bathroom since when I took this room I got one look at the tiny tub and begged Mihirogi to let me remodel. The tub was gone and a nice big glassed in shower with multi-head water jets took its place. Some days all my old scars and injuries ache fiercely and the pounding massage from the shower heads feels like heaven. Though it is nothing compared to sharing said shower with two gorgeous men. Even though it is kind of a tight fit.

Aya and Chloe don thick terry robes to ward off the chill and go to their rooms to get dressed. I towel off and walk into the bedroom and I shiver a little in the chill air. I hurry to my massive wardrobe and open the doors. Wool socks, boxers and a t-shirt come first. Then I look at the various clothes hung there.

Chloe loathes my taste in clothes but according to him my choices are improving. How could they not when I have a pair of clothes horses for lovers. After thinking for a moment I pull out a pair of black jeans… that’s safe. Everything goes with black. It’s really cold out side and hovering just above freezing. I’m not looking forward to going out. It looks like it could start drizzling any second. Sweater weather and I open one of the drawers looking for a thick cable knit I bought a month ago.

It’s Irish wool in a dark green. I usually don’t spend that much on clothes but it’s so soft and warm that I couldn’t resist. This is the first time I’ve had the opportunity to wear it. I get dressed and when I slide the sweater over my head I feel warmer already. I put on my black leather boots and grab my motorcycle jacket. Again its black leather and worn in enough to be very comfortable. Even though I don’t have a bike anymore I can’t give up the jacket. At least it looks great and fits like a glove.

I give my towel dried hair a quick combing and decide I really need a haircut. I hate when it hangs down too far. I can see it now… gee I’m sorry the target got away… my hair was in my eyes. That would go over real well. Just one more thing for Chloe to mention… he likes it a bit long though. His own platinum hair hangs down in his face and it makes him look sexy and alluring. Mine just annoys me and gets in the way. I stare in the mirror. Well this is as good as it gets so I’d better hurry before Michel decides to come looking for me.

I open my door and walk out in the hall. I stop dead in my tracks when I see who else is there. Chloe has Aya backed up against the wall and is trying to swallow his tonsils. The sight of them takes my breath away. Chloe is wearing a black cashmere turtleneck and charcoal colored slacks. Coupled with the paleness of his skin and hair he almost looks like he’s glowing. His arms are wound around my other lover’s waist and Aya’s light blue wool v-neck is almost pushed up under his arm pits as Chloe’s hands roam his chest. A stab of envy pierces me and I feel out of place watching them. I decide to try and sneak around the engrossed couple and head downstairs.

I almost make it when a hand shoots out and grabs my arm. Before I know it I’m now pushed against the wall and am being looked at by two smiling assassins.

“Going somewhere Ken?” Chloe’s low voice causes an involuntary shudder.

“I… I was going to go downstairs. You were busy so I thought I’d…” I gasp as two pair of warm lips each claim a side of my neck under my jaw.

“So you were going to sneak downstairs because you thought you’d be intruding.” Aya’s whisper as always cuts right to the heart of the matter.

“Silly Ken-Ken… still so insecure after all we’ve shared. Who did you think we were waiting for? In fact that little show was for your benefit. Now care to join us?” Chloe burrows his nose against my neck and inhales deeply.

I swear the scent of leather is like an aphrodisiac to the blond. I admit the sight and smell of the two of them in leather is enough to get me quite horny as well. In fact my hand strays to Aya’s leather clad thigh as I stroke the skin warmed supple hide.

Aya’s fingers thread through my hair as he pulls my head down for a kiss. He barely slides his tongue in my mouth when a loud voice from behind causes us all to jump.

“Again? You three are hornier than teenagers. I ought to know since I am one. Do I have to get a bucket of ice water? Are we going to get a tree or not?” Michel is standing there tapping his foot in agitation.

Oddly enough he is dressed rather normally… well for Michel. His faded jeans and cross trainers are so typical for a teen his age. His sweater though… well it’s a rather eye searing shade of green with narrow burgundy stripes. Where does he find these clothes? Michel’s hair is a shaggy golden blond mop that looks oddly appropriate. His innocent face hides the spirit of an imp and we all know better to antagonize the chibi too much. His methods of revenge are rather creative.

Chloe and Aya step back from me and Chloe rolls his eyes at the teen’s clothing choice. Then ruffles his hair fondly. “You are just jealous. Wanted to join us did you?”

I flush at Chloe’s brazen suggestion.

Michel swats at the taller assassin’s hand and shakes his head. “Never in a million years. You are such a pervert.”

Aya winds his arm around my waist and laughs at the exchange between his team mates. I damn my ability to blush as I watch. I swear I’m not going to save the annoying blond from Michel’s wrath. Chloe leans in and tries to kiss Michel while the chibi shrieks in indignation and tries to fend off hands intent on holding him still.

“Chloe quit torturing Michel… we don’t want him scarred for life.” Aya tells our lover as he looks on amusedly.

“Oh very well… you’re no fun at all. I’ll have you know I’m a great kisser and he is passing up the chance of a lifetime.” Chloe pouts prettily as he releases his captive.

“Can we go now?” Michel whines as he tries to straighten his hair.

“Yes we can go now. Come on you two before Chloe causes more trouble.” Aya grabs the blond’s hand and the three of us head for the stairs. Michel hurtles down the steps and barely misses barreling into Yuki who has been waiting at the bottom.

Free is standing off to one side watching as Michel grabs Yuki and starts an animated conversation on the merits of a new video game. I swear the chibi doesn’t need any sugar today the sheer excitement of the immanent outing has him wound tight enough. Chloe pauses at the hall closet to get his red leather coat and Aya’s black trench coat. God I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of looking at them. Chloe notices my almost drooling and winks. He sidles up to smooth my hair.

“You look fantastic too Ken. My fashion sense must be rubbing of on you at last.” Chloe chuckles as I flush a bit at his praise.

Michel grabs his coat and for lack of a better word dons the fuzzy monstrosity. Thank goodness it’s a nice neutral shade of black because the texture is quite of enough of a startlement. He looks like a black puffball in it. He claims it’s warm and comfortable so we put up with it.

Yuki’s brown leather bomber jacket is nice and plain and Free is wearing a faded denim jacket that I would freeze in. Finally we’re all ready to go and Michel leaps onto Free’s back for an impromptu piggy back ride to the car. The tall assassin is so tolerant of Michel’s antics and smiles over his shoulder at the blond chibi.

The Range Rover is chosen as the only vehicle big enough to hold us and the tree. Michel and Free get to the car first.

“I’ll drive!” the chibi shouts and holds his hand out for the keys.

“No!” We all, with the exception of Free, shout in unison. I swear the mystic lets Michel get away with anything.

Aya claims the keys and gets behind the wheel forestalling any arguments. I get in the front and sit in the middle sandwiched between Aya and Chloe. Yuki claims the rear seat left window leaving Michel to sit in the center with Free on the other side. He pouts for most of the trip but his good humor is restored when we get to the tree lot. Michel is nearly bouncing in his seat as Aya stops the car. He climbs over Free and leaps out. This is going to be an interesting experience. The blond chibi latches onto Free and Yuki pulling them to a tree he’s convinced is perfect. Trouble is its 12 feet tall and will not fit in the living room. Aya likes the blue spruces and Chloe is looking at a balsam fir. Michel is still trying to wheedle Free into siding with him on the huge tree he has his heart set on. I have a sinking feeling this could take all day.

~*~  
Later that night…

The house is quiet and as the clock nears midnight I find myself unable to sleep. Back down to the living room I wander and curl up on the couch. The tree we finally settled on is decorated and the multicolor lights throw branch shaped shadows all over the walls. It is just a few days before Christmas and as I stare into the flames of the fireplace I’m nearly overcome with a wave of nostalgic sorrow.

The room is chill and my flannel sleeping pants and t-shirt are little protection against the damp cold seeping into my bones. I really should crawl back into my warm bed. I know when I do Aya will spoon up behind me and Chloe will tangle his legs with mine and pull me close. I just can’t make myself get up and seek their company.

I always suffer from bouts of melancholy this time of year. Being alone in a darkened room with only the cheerful blinking lights for company just makes me feel more depressed. There is no reason for it… not really. I have a home, friends I care about and two men who love me. So why am I sitting here all alone? I guess I’m a glutton for punishment. But I can’t stop my mind from wandering back to the past. I can’t help missing Japan. And God help me I can’t help missing Omi. He was a part of my life for many years and I can’t just shut it out no matter how much I try. Omi taught me how to love again after Kase’s betrayal. He held me and we comforted each other though some horrific times. Even though I feel he abandoned me when I needed him the most I can’t forget that he was there for me all those other times.

I look at the clock again… nearly midnight. I bite my lip as an idea slowly takes shape. I feel an overwhelming urge to talk to Omi, to hear his voice. I can’t think of him as Mamoru… that is the name of a man who turned a cold shoulder to me. Yet Omi is the name of the teen I once loved and that is how I choose to remember him. Before my fleeting courage deserts me I pick up the phone.

Even though I never really thought I’d ever use it I know the number to Omi’s cell phone. It’s a number he only gives out to a select few and one Aya thought I should have. Hesitantly I dial. I take a deep breath and force myself not to hang up. I nearly do when a voice comes on the line… a heartbreakingly familiar voice.

“Aya? To what do I owe the pleasure?” Omi’s voice… so much like the one I remember yet so different. It figures his caller ID would tell him the origin of the call.

I find it hard to speak or even breathe. My finger hovers over the disconnect button.

“Aya is something wrong?” A slightly worried voice comes over the line.

“O...Omi? It’s Ken.” There I spoke. As for what I am going to say next I have no clue.

“Ken? I… I never thought I’d ever hear your voice again.” The stunned surprise is quite evident.

“I just wanted to call… I was sitting here thinking about things and I just needed to talk to you.” The words came out in a rush.

“Are you alright Ken? Did something happen to Aya?” Omi… I just need to tell him how I feel before I lose my nerve.

“No Aya is ok. I just wanted to let you know that well… I do miss you. I think about what… what we had and it’s unfair for me to try and pretend my life there never existed.” I’m stammering. He must think I’m an idiot.

“Ken… I regret a lot of things in my life. Especially how we ended up. I was a coward and couldn’t deal with everything that was happening at the time. I wish I’d handled things differently. Been fairer to you. But then I made choices I thought were right. I knew I hurt you… terribly. But I had no other choice.” Omi sounds so genuinely sorry that my eyes start to tear up. I’d kept this hurtful resentment inside for so long.

I heard a faint murmuring in the background and Omi’s quiet assurance that he was alright. I realize Nagi must be in the room with him. I tamp down the surge of dislike for the former member of Schwarz.

“I… I’m sorry too Omi. I was losing it and it had to have been so hard for you to try and put up with me. I guess I called to… I don’t know. To find some sort of closure. I’m tired of harboring all this resentment for all the mistakes we made.” This is so hard for me to do and I nearly lose my nerve again when Omi sighs.

“I’m glad you called. I wanted to talk to you before but Aya said you wouldn’t listen. Ken I… want to resolve this. I don’t want you to hate me anymore.” His hesitant voice is so unlike the assured business tycoon and head of Kritiker. He sounds so like the lost young man I used to know.

I realize that I don’t hate him… not anymore.

“Omi I don’t hate you. I might have once but I’m sick of harboring these negative feelings. I need to let go and to do that I needed to talk to you. To let you know… I guess that I forgive you. I want to be able to talk to you every once in a while like Aya does.”

“I forgive you too Ken. We have a lot of regrets but I want you to know that the time we spent together was not one of them.” More soft murmuring and Omi’s muffled reply to the other person in the room with him halts his conversation.

“Tell me Omi are you happy?” It is the one thing I fear. The last time I’d seen him he was so cold and with drawn.

“I’m happy Ken. I really am. Nagi keeps me sane. It’s weird but I think I’ve found my soul mate. He understands everything I’ve been through and accepts all the things I’ve done. I love him.” The cheerful note is back in his voice… it’s the thing that has been lacking up till now. Nagi must be responsible for putting it there.

I take a deep breath and search for the familiar ache that always accompanies any thoughts of my former lover. It seems more distant now and muted.

“Make sure he treats you right or I’ll have to come and kick his ass.”

Omi’s startled laughter is like a balm for my soul.

“I will Ken. Tell me how are you and Aya getting along?”

Damn it I flush again.

“I…I… well you see it’s like this.” How the hell do I tell him I have two lovers? One of them a former mutual team mate.

Omi laughs again.

“Easy Ken. Aya told me about it weeks ago. Imagine two lovers…I think I’m jealous. Considering I’ve seen Chloe before and heard about him from KR. Do they make you happy?”

I have to think about that for a moment. They do… Aya and Chloe make me happier than I’ve been in a long time.

“Yeah they do. It’s weird and unconventional but I can’t picture them not in my life anymore. Look I gotta go but I just wanted you to know how I felt.”

“I’m glad you called Ken. I hope we can be friends.” Omi sounds genuinely sincere.

“I want that too. Take care and I’ll talk to you again soon.” Omi replies in kind and I hang up the phone. I feel emotionally drained and raise a hand to wipe at my wet cheeks.

I jump when a pair of arms winds around my neck from behind. A moment later a hand brushes my cheek. Aya’s comforting scent surrounds me and I place my hands on his arms and lay my head back and look into his face.

“Ken what’s wrong? Are you upset? I woke up and you were not in bed so I came looking for you and heard your voice. Who were you talking to?” He looks so concerned that it makes my heart ache.

“Omi… I called Omi.” I watch as Aya’s brow furrows.

“Why did you call Omi? I thought you hated him?” He sounds confused and I don’t blame him.

“I was sitting here thinking about the past and of how my life has changed. I miss them Aya. Yohji and Omi were such a big part of my life and I just missed them so damned much. I had to call him… I had to try and put the past to rest. I had to try and mend some fences.” He hugs me tighter and it warms me to the core.

“I’m glad you did. I miss them too you know. Sometimes so much that I want to cry. We can’t forget the past. It’s so much a part of who we are. But we also can’t let it embitter us for the future. You are my life now… you and Chloe. Trust me Ken when I tell you that I won’t have it any other way” He places a kiss on the crown of my head and lays his cheek against mine.

“Love you Aya.” I simply say. But this time it is with a much clearer conscience and an unburdened heart.

Aya tips my head back and kisses me softly on the lips. “Love you too Ken now come to bed. Oh and happy birthday.”

I look at the clock… sure enough it is after midnight. These last few years I always hated my birthday. I filled it with dwelling on past hurts and self doubt. Now though, I don’t feel the same loathing for the day. It’s due to the man in my arms and the other one sleeping in my bed.

“Yeah… So what do I get for my birthday?”

“A day of total indulgence from both of your lovers? Although I have to warn you… Chloe’s gift might be a bit risqué. Let’s just say he added to the toy collection.” Aya smirks and I get a bit nervous.

“Protect me?” I look at him hopefully.

“Chicken… now come to bed. I’m sure Chloe has taken over the entire space by now and all the blankets. Besides he’ll miss his own personal bed warmers and a prematurely woken Chloe is one cranky assassin.” Aya steps to the front of the couch and holds out his hands.

I let him pull me to my feet and arm in arm we head back to bed. Then once again under the covers with Aya snuggling up behind and Chloe wrapped around me like I’m his teddy bear I finally feel I can get to sleep. Tonight’s phone call helped to lay some ghosts to rest. It’s time to move on with my life. With Aya and Chloe to love me I can at last do so with no recriminations.

Perhaps moving on this time will be a good thing.

~ end ~


End file.
